※ [本文转录自 Zyca 信箱] 作者: [email protected] 标题: ◇ 如果各大 OS 经营航空公司 时间: Sat Jan 23 13:32:16 1999 [版主] 此篇由 www.cs.bgu.ac.il:80/~omri/Humor/ 取得. 假如作业系统经营航空公司, 会是什麽样的情形? 转载自1994年7月号开放系统与网路 有人在网路上提出这个荒谬的问题, 以下就是我们得自 Computer Associates International Inc. 公司, 开放系统总监 Alan Paller 的回答 MS-DOS 航空 Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on. 乘客推着飞机前进, 直到它滑翔起飞时才往上跳, 接着让飞机自行下降, 直到落地为 止, 然後不断重覆同样的步骤. Mac 航空 All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie. 所有的空服员, 机长, 行李管理员, 以及机票代理商都长得一样, 动作一样, 讲得话 也一样. 每当客户问到细节时, 他们总是说, 您不需要知道, 不想要知道, 每一件事 都在您不必要知道的情况下; 一切都为您做得好好的, 所以, 闭嘴就对了. OS/2 航空 To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position. Windows 95 航空 The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and stewardesses, and easy access to the plane. After the plane arrives, 6 months late, you have a completely uneventful takeoff... then, once in the air the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever. 设置在机场的服务台看起来富丽堂皇, 里面有和蔼可亲的空服员, 登机手续非 常简便, 平安顺利地起飞之後......接着, 飞机在没有任何预警讯息的情况下爆炸了. [版主] 写的真是太传神了 ^Q^ Windows NT 航空 All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane.They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying. 乘客步行到跑道, 和谐一致地说出密码, 然後排成像飞机外形的队伍. 接着, 大家坐 下来, 口中发出咻的一声, 假装他们已经飞在天空中. Unix 航空 Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport.They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together.Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations.All passengers believe they got there. 每个人带着一片飞机的机身组织来到机场. 他们在飞机跑道上拼凑飞机, 同时不断争 论着他们所拼凑飞机的模样. Mach 航空 There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived. Newton 航空 After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 46 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the steward announces that you have to repeat the boarding process because they are out of room and need to recount to make sure they can take more passengers. VMS 航空 The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians.The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors. . --

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