我要活下去Scully的三段独白 因为我是从猫咪乐园X档案版里偷的 翻译应该是华视版本吧?? For the first time I feel time like a heartbeat, the seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning; the numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth, but only in its passage. I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me, knowing that you will read them and share my burden as I have come to trust no other. That you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you, is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago, and which began again with a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions. If not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you incomplete, hoping that you will forgive me for not making the journey with you. 我第一回感觉时间像心跳，秒数像最後审判一样唧进我的胸部。 过去似乎如此遥远，且虚幻的难解之谜，已并非於年少时，而是在时光 流逝中，沈思的真相威胁着清晰。我感觉到这些字就像其意义，是我卸 下的重担。知道在我无法信任别人时，你会读到它并为我分忧。知道你 会了解我的内心，注视它，并在我心中发现属於你.....就是你的回忆 与经历，对我来说是一种慰藉。在继续於不久前展开的旅程时，感到系 绳松脱、前途黑暗。该旅程因你的坚持而再度展开，若非如此，我也许 不会这麽坚强的面对你，看着你壮志未酬，并希望你原谅我，不陪你走 完剩下的路...... [第二段] In med school I learnt that cancer arrives in a body unannounced, a dark stranger who takes up residence, turning its new home against itself. This is the evil of cancer, that it starts as an invader, but soon becomes one with invaded, forcing you to destroy it, but only at the risk of destroying yourself. It is science's demon possession; my treatments, science's attempted exorcism. Mulder, I hope in these terms you might know it, and know me, and accept this stranger so many recognize, but can not ever completely cast out. And if the darkness should have swallowed me as you read this, you must never think there was the possibility of some secret intervention, something you might have done. And though we've traveled far together, this last distance must necessarily be traveled alone. 在医学院里，我学到癌症未经宣告就来到体内，强占住所的阴险陌生人， 让它的新家跟自己敌对，这就是癌的邪恶。它一开始是入侵者，但很快的 即成为被入侵者，迫使你摧毁它，但唯有冒着摧毁自身的风险。这是科学 的恶魔附身，我的治疗....科学的驱魔尝试。Mulder，我希望从 这些话中，你能了解它、了解我，接受这个很多人都认识，却又无法完全 驱逐的陌生人。如果你看到这个时，邪恶已将我吞噬，你千万不可认为有 秘密干涉的可能.....一件你可能已经做的事。虽然我们一起走了很远， 最後这段路必定要孤独的走....... [第三段] I have not written to you in the last 24 hours because the treatment has weakened my spirit as well as my body. Mulder, it's difficult to describe to you the fear of facing an enemy which I can neither conquer nor escape. Penny Northern has taken a down turn. I now look at her with a respect that can only come from one who is about to walk the same dark path. Seeing her I can't help but seeing myself in a month or a year. I pray that I have her courage to face this journey. Mulder, I feel you close, though I know you're now pursuing your own path. For that, I'm grateful, more than I can ever express. I need to know you're out there if I'm ever to see through this. 我过去24小时没写给你，因为治疗让我身心虚弱。Mulder，很难向 你形容，面对既无法战胜，也逃脱不了的敌人的恐惧。潘妮诺伦病情恶 化，我以即将走上同一条黑暗道路的人才有的尊敬看着她。看到她，我 不禁看到一个月或一年後的自己。我祈求具有她面对这段历程的勇气。 Mulder，我感到你很近，虽然我知道，此刻你正在走自己的路。为此， 我心存感激，远超出我所能表达的。要是渡过这关，我需要知道你会在...... --

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