http://www.startribune.com/511/story/940656.html There he is, in the shadows. That's how Timberwolves guard Rashad McCants says it felt, to be on a team but not part of it. To be paid to be playing basketball but not be able to do it. For months McCants has been unable to take part in a game he played his whole life, a game that gave him joy, an identity, an ego, an opportunity. A career. You can't know how hard that has been. "When you're sitting around, not doing too much, that's how you feel, like you're in the shadows," McCants said last week, after a couple hours of rehab followed by a few minutes of work with some teammates after practice. His right knee, operated on months ago, is feeling better by the day. His return to the court draws closer by the hour. But one gets the feeling it will be months before he shakes that distant feeling. McCants, perched on a chair outside the Wolves locker room, sat back, sighed. What's it like when you're on the roster but not on the court? When you have to watch while Kevin Garnett leads the charge every night and know you can't follow? "You feel like you're a ghost," McCants said of the early stages of his rehabilitation. "A lot of guys I was friends with last year, you can see kind of a distant hello or what's up, something like that. And that's from KG down to Bracey [Wright]. It was hard, because I felt they turned their backs on me. But you know what? It was nothing of the sort. I wasn't playing. I wasn't really a part of the team." Finding his way McCants came to the Twin Cities last season with an NCAA championship ring from his time at North Carolina, a boatload of talent, and a reputation. Maybe more like an image: McCants was quiet, by his own admission a bit aloof. Some saw that as arrogance; he says it was more a case of acclimation. This season, McCants hasn't been a part of the team but he has become more a part of the community. In June, McCants had microfracture surgery on his right knee. Since then he has worked on the sidelines with an aim to return to the action. But it's been a long journey. McCants hasn't yet scored a point this season, but he may lead the team in personal appearances. Fans who have gone to games this season have seen the video the team runs as the fourth quarter is about to begin, where Mark Madsen and Ricky Davis exhort the fans to make noise, accompanied by McCants. And who was that at center court, days before Christmas, dressed in a Santa suit? McCants has always carried around some contradictions. After all, he's a guy with a "Born to be hated" tattoo on one arm and "Dying to be loved" on the other. So don't be surprised to learn that, in a season where he hasn't been a part of the team, he has become more connected to it than ever. "Rashad is transcending himself," Garnett said. "He's been away from the game, but he's tried to be a lot more connected with the team. Some guys they're hurt, you don't see them around. He's been the opposite. He's been around. At the same time, he has connected with the city and with this team. He's saying, 'I am injured, but I'll be back. I'm still a part of this team.' It's good to see, man. It's good to see." First pain, then surgery The minute last season ended McCants went back to Chapel Hill, N.C., and started working, hoping to improve on what he thought of as a disappointing rookie season. "And I wanted to get better, immediately," McCants said. "I wanted to work out the whole summer, which is something I shouldn't have done." One day, he tweaked the knee. Muscle pain, he thought, not a big deal. He kept working. A month went by and it wasn't getting better so he had it checked out. The doctors said he had some inflamed tissue in the knee and he went to get it removed in June. When he woke up, he got the bad news: Surgery revealed a bigger problem. He had bruised the bone, and it had gotten worse. Touchup surgery had turned into an eight-month recovery. "I thought it was a joke," McCants said. "After a while it set in. Man, six months, eight months ..." Some players do so much research into their injuries they become experts. Not McCants. He deliberately didn't do that. Who can blame him? The specifics of the surgery are chilling. Holes are drilled into the knee at the end of the femur, around cartilage that is either damaged or not there at all. The goal is to have the resulting scar tissue replace that cartilage, add some shock absorption to the damaged joint. "I didn't want to get caught up in who had it and who didn't," McCants said. "The one guy I talked to was Jason Kidd, and he told me to take it slow, don't rush it. Do exactly what they said and you'll be back." Kidd made it back. Indeed, he is the running, gunning, passing and shooting best-case example of what the surgery can do. McCants? He just wanted to keep his head down and work on his return. Working hard It's safe to say that McCants and the Wolves medical team have gotten as close as family. But perhaps nobody has gotten to know him better than Andre Deloya, the team's physical therapist. Hundreds of hours working toward a common goal will do that. And what Deloya saw was a young man channeling all his frustration into his rehab. "It was hard for him," Deloya said. "I think he has distinct visions of what his role would be and when he would have achieved that status, and this was a huge detour from that time-frame. He believes and thinks he should be an impact player. Instead, he's had to sit and brood." And work. Deloya said he has never had a player work harder toward his return. Madsen spent a couple of stints rehabbing with McCants and came away amazed at his teammate's intensity. "However hard it's been for him -- and I think it has been very hard for Rashad -- he's channeled all that into his program," Madsen said. Ready for return Already Timberwolves coach Dwane Casey is prepping McCants for his return. Casey's message: You think your rehab was trying? Get ready for more of the same. "There will be times when he's muddy and foggy," Casey said. "When nothing feels right. And he'll have to have the mental toughness to fight through that." No question he has the drive. "Here was my motivation: Where do I want to be?" McCants said. "What were my goals? I always look back to my goals. You know, I do believe in God. But all my faith really comes from the goals I set, the things I want to do." And McCants has a few. "I'm very self-motivated," he said. "It drives me to see things on TV, guys like Chris Paul, Dwyane Wade, LeBron [James] doing commercials. It's not envious, it's just something where, 'I'm going to get there.' I'm going to have my jerseys in all the stores, not just Minnesota stores. Those are things that drive me. And if I give up during a rehab, I just shatter all those dreams." --

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