I'm sorry this is in English; but you might find it interesting. Reply in Chinese or English, or any language you like. :-) -------------- A couple of people have emailed me to say that there's some hostility on the board towards me, because I'm a westerner. Maybe this is showing up in other ways; hostility to speaking English on the board; 'enforcing the rules'; telling me to go to another board etc (you know you can just ignore the post, right? ^_^) It's ok! I know that many Taiwanese guys and girls feel this way about westerners. I'm not offended by it. In fact, this response occurs in almost all countries towards foreigners. I know there are also special reasons for it in Taiwan. IF you feel annoyed at me, I want to share something interesting with you that might make you think again about how you react. ------ ... fade out to a scene in America ... ------- The year is 1930. A guy from Stanford, Prof. Richard Lapiere, is travelling around California with his friends, a couple that happened to be Chinese. Lapiere was worried, because there was some hostile feelings towards Chinese people at that time; (when wages are low, everyone hates foreigners!) All the newspapers were full of stories about Chinese people committing crimes, (or being suspected of it). As he travelled around, he recorded the responses he noticed in 128 restaurants they visited. In 127 of the restaurants, they were treated politely, and in friendly way. In 1 restaurant, they weren't treated so well. Sounds great, don't you think? Chinese people, lots of prejudice around, but they get treated with perfect respect, like any other human being. Lapiere started to wonder about why the newspapers talked about the 'Chinese problem', since everyone was so friendly in real life to his guests (and remember, western guest culture is not the same as TW guest culture - treating someone as a guest means wanting to be friends). So, he wrote a questionaire to all the restaurants and hotels he visited. He said to them, 'will you accept member of the Chinese race in your business establishment?' The reply was to be chosen from 'Yes', 'No' or 'Depends on circumstances'. 90% of the people who replied, say 'No', they would never tolerate Chinese people as customers. They didn't even say 'Maybe'!!! Lapiere studied this further, and it turns out that when people are asked a question about 'some foreigner', they imagine all the things they love or really hate in all foreigners from that country. And they believe 'this person' has all those qualities. In this case, when the question was asked, the people imagined some horrible, dirty Chinese immigrant, not much money, newspaper stories about thieves... all the stuff in their worst prejudice. But when they met the real people, they didn't even care about the race; all they saw were some polite, friendly, educated people. So, when we meet people in real life, we react differently to when we are given a written description of them as being part of 'some race'. Just like if your friend told you she was going to marry a Thai worker. Think about it just now, if your female friend really said that to you. You are probably thinking, 'oh my god!!!!!! no!!!' - you are imagining every worst prejudice, and worst possible outcome. Then she introduces him - he's a top Thai lawyer, working in Taiwan, really nice guy, cooks you an amazing meal as a treat. He takes you to see some live kickboxing in Taipei. He becomes your new friend. --- I hope the same is true here. If you hate me, it's because a) I'm a westerner b) I hope to find a girlfriend. c) you have strong prejudices about 'westerners looking for women'. d) you've imagined all those prejudices about me. How could you know me? We've never met. So, I doubt you can really hate me yet, at least, not until after we meet in person :-) Perhaps this psychological response is the reason why almost every Taiwanese guy that meets me in real life likes me, and so many have tried to help me find a girlfriend. But online... 'WESTERN HATE!!!!' Let me put it another way. When the 'smart but small' girl recently told me her parents 'disapproved of me' before they even met me, several of my Taiwanese friends wanted to know where she stayed, so they could go and tell her she was a complete idiot and that she should date me. I refused to tell them, obviously! It's that girl's own choice. If I am just another dumb annoying westerner in Taiwan, like the one you imagine me to be, why would they do it???? It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, if you hate me, don't worry. It's OK. I'm just a guy like you, different skin colour, different eye colour. Maybe like you, having a tough time trying to find a nice woman. But you want to find a tall and decent woman, too, just like me. So really, we have something in common. I don't hate you for it, so please don't hate me for it. Mu --

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