作者jimmy5680 (折翼的企鹅)
看板Spurs
标题Tim Duncan致LaMarcus Aldridge的手写信
时间Fri Jul 10 02:37:33 2015
: → spurs2120: 如果你们想知道的话,Duncan还手写了一封信给Aldridge 07/10 01:42
: → spurs2120: http://tinyurl.com/phcnsxo 没有极限的一群人... 07/10 01:42
我打成文字了,不过太晚了而且我最近对翻译没有信心了,
看有没有高手有闲暇愿意翻译一下。
Tim Duncan致LaMarcus Aldridge的手写信
http://tinyurl.com/phcnsxo
Dear Mr. Aldridge,
Let me be (I was just told by the man sitting next to me in this public
library that no one reads cursive anymore. Well, if everyone practiced their
penmanship for 2 hours every night like I do, then more people would be
willing to use the Queen’s favored longhand. Anyway, no sense in wasting
paper. I’ll begin below.)
Dear Mr. Aldridge,
Let me be first to welcome you to the team that I am on too. When I first
heard you will be joining the San Antonio Spurs, I walked reasonably fast to
my bookshelf of hard cover basketball almanacs and looked up your name. I
know that we have played each other many times but I treat all players on
opposing teams as faceless gray shapes moving about, seemingly at random, and
getting in my way while I attempt to put the basketball through the rim via
hook shot or, failing that, another efficient method.
After finding the pages dedicated to you in my almanac, I decided to have
some fun and go through the box score of every game you played, add up all of
the points from each game (1,661 points) and all of the rebounds from each
game (726 rebounds) and divide each of those numbers by the number of games
you played last season (71). The whole process took me 13 hours and 22
minutes and I didn’t look away from what I was doing one time except to sip
on my glass of milk. Milk is good for you, so I drink it often.
Those stats are good and they
also mean you also averaged what the flashier
members of the basketball community call a “double double,” but the first
thing you’re going to learn as a San Antonio Spur is that we don’t use or
understand any of the silly idioms a lot of other basketball people use. Here
’s a short chat sheet I keep to help me understand what those flashy talkers
mean: - “From Way Downtown” – Shooting from an abnormally long distance –
“Slam dunk” – Overaggressive layup – “Finger roll” – overaggressive
hook shot – “Alley-oop” – Pass that accidentally went too high so the
player had to receive it in mid air and didn’t have room to come down with
it and take a hook shot so he just had to put it in the basket right then and
there.
“Posterize” – Impossible to tell what this meas.
Proper response: ‘yes, that sure was.”
Anyway Mark (can I call you Mark? The ‘La’ and ‘us’ and ‘c instead of k’
in your name seems suferfluous), I’m also writing to formally invite you to
our annual season kick of next month. We hold one of these every year as a
treat for the fans, to welcome new player, and give them a taste of what they
are in
store for as part of the San Antonio Spurs. No one is ever late or
loud or rude and since everyone follows the rules, it’s always a good time.
I have included the itinerary below, hope you can make it.
6 am – roll call/ general meet and greet. Coffee not allowed. Orange juice
allowed but not provided.
7 am – toe touches
8 am – Hood shot drills
9 am – Bounce pass drills
10 am – Autograph session with fans (each player signs on Ruled 4”X6”
Oxford Index Card for each fan in attendance)
11 am – More hook shot drills
Noon – lunch (brown bag, no lunch provided)
1 pm – (low energy) Lecture on history of San Antonio
2 pm – (low speed) Give and go drills
3 pm – Water break and mandatory check that everyone’s shirts are tucked in
4 pm – 5 mile run
5 pm – No-look passing contest (this is a fan favorite. It’s structured
like the All Star Game Overaggressive Layup Contest, but with passes)
***Judged by sports stars and celebrities including Jess Hornacek, Michele
from Destiny’s Child, and Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials*
8:30 pm – lights out (after watching Modern Family)
Sincerely, (couldn’t help myself, cursive is so fun!)
Tim Duncan
TD把superfluous写成suferfluous,不知道是错字还是故意的,不是我打错。
深绿色的字是他划掉的(删除线)。
希望没有甚麽错误,有兴趣的人可以尝试翻译。
※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc), 来自: 1.171.62.86
※ 文章网址: https://webptt.com/cn.aspx?n=bbs/Spurs/M.1436467060.A.4AC.html
1F:→ spurs2120: 先说,我没有查证这是不是恶搞喔 XD 07/10 02:38
2F:→ spurs2120: 我也还没看过内容,如果真的是恶搞麻烦说一下 07/10 02:38
3F:推 noise02: 打成文字好读很多啊XD 07/10 02:41
4F:推 TimDuncan21: 真的因为字太丑XD 07/10 02:52
5F:推 buyao531: 这网站来源+内容,99%是恶搞啦w 07/10 03:23
6F:推 kimisky: 帮推,等等原PO说对翻译没信心不会是因为之前有一篇外絮 07/10 04:11
7F:→ kimisky: 在总板被说翻得不太好吧@@? 我觉得明明没那麽糟.. 07/10 04:12
8F:推 aeCynzia: 应该是恶搞啦 XDDD 07/10 04:29
9F:嘘 risingsuns: 签名档 07/10 06:04
10F:推 risingsuns: 马刺版可以酸其他队球员是吗 07/10 06:05
11F:推 DaddyAlex: funnyordie是着名的恶搞网站 07/10 09:01
12F:推 TimDuncan21: 为何不能酸? 07/10 10:57
好啦不要起争议,我砍掉就是。
※ 编辑: jimmy5680 (1.171.62.86), 07/10/2015 11:00:54
13F:推 iIvan: 从别的网站看到都说是假的喔 07/10 11:01
14F:推 orcpon: 原来是恶搞,我已经翻了一半说.... XDDD 07/10 13:21
15F:→ teethbud: 还是想看翻译 求楼上 >O< 07/10 13:29
16F:推 orcpon: 我也是用我的破英文翻的,还是不要献丑了 >< 07/10 13:37
17F:→ AquariusTACO: 什麽 是恶搞唷 冏 07/10 13:56