作者excrement (the essence of love)
看板ST-English
标题Re: [写作班] 托福第37周 winse 4
时间Thu Jun 25 10:42:55 2009
※ 引述《winse (winse)》之铭言:
: This is my first try in this board. I will try more to improve my writing.
: 4. In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural
: condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and
: industry?
: Taiwan is a small island with huge population.
: A well-organized urban planning is necessary for country development in Taiwan.
: In my opinion, whether a land should be left in its natural condition
^no matter
: or to be developed, we should take into consideration of
: environmental protection.
Your argument is made clear in the 1st paragraph. However, isn't environmental
protection leaving land in its natural condition? So, you might want to make
it more explicitly. From what you have written, I guess that you want to say
land is to be developed, with the consideration of environmental protection?
: For economic and democratic reason, city development for housing and industry
~~~~~~~~~~why democracy is a reason for city development?
: is essential to a country. However, every design for land development should
: take into consideration of the environmental protection. Such as a green
: building, which use reproduced material and combined with power-saving
~~~~~~~~~~~~~delete,
to make the structure parallel
: design (e.g. solar energy). Recently, more and more architect works like
: a horticulturist. They put a garden on the roof of a large building.
: This design reduces the high air temperature in urban area and makes the
lowers the temperature
: air fresher. Furthermore, people will feel more comfortable when
: they see a lot of green vegetation around.
: In the perspective of environmental conversation, a land with its valuable
conservation (you spelt wrong elsewhere)
: natural resource needs to be conversed. For instance, National Parks and
: conversation area are the examples to protect natural resources.
: However, not only natural resource but biological culture including
: human culture needs to be protected. Culture is impossible to be replaced.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
why do you want to say the human culture? how is it related to the topic?
: A historical place should be conversed whether it located in urban or
: mountainous area.
: To sum up, a well-organized urban planning is necessary whether the land
: to be conversed or developed. Basically, every urban planning should
: be design from the point of view of Earth protection.
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1F:推 winse:Thanks for your correction, can I post the rewrite? 06/25 17:34