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the organization is improved with a clear intro and reasoning. The most serious problem in this essay, in my view, is the introduction and the conclusion. You use most of the introduction to describe that a zoo has a useful purpose, but then in the end your argument is a zoo is not useful. The introduction makes readers confused about which side you are taking. If you want to say that a zoo should not exist, then stick to that argument. You don't need to say both are good. And that applies to the conclusion. For the third reason you say that a zoo is often in the city not in the countryside and people faraway can not visit...I don't find it persuasive. For many other countries zoos are in the countryside; in addition, why people faraway cannot vist those zoos? Maybe you want to say that the entrance fee is usually so high so as to exclude the poor? ※ 引述《jarlinlove (永夜角声悲自语)》之铭言: : 1. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no : useful purpose. : ========================================================== : Gathering species of animals, especially the rare ones from all over the : world, in a space for the public to appreciate is the main use of a zoo. : Antarctic King Penguins, Australian koalas, and the recent China pandas are : welcome guests in a zoo for people to view. Therefore, a zoo definitely has : useful purpose, which is not useful enough in my opinion. : First of all, establishing a zoo is very costly for the government. Due : to the various kinds of animals, such as nocturnal animals, carnivorous : animals and polar animals, we need many facilities to imitate their original : habitats. However, one specific living space is usually only suitable for a : few animals. : Secondly, migrating animals from their hometowns to new environments : will sometimes do harm to them. Regardless of the mock equipment, some : animals still find it hard to accommodate themselves to it and die in the : end. The intention to exhibit scarce creatures turns out to make them : disappear. : Thirdly, a zoo is mostly located in the city. For those who live in the : countryside, they have fewer chances to view the animals. With the purpose to : broaden the horizons of people by displaying different animals, a zoo still : cannot benefit every one. As above mentioned, I think a zoo truly has a : useful purpose, but it is still not useful enough. --



※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 128.205.231.174 ※ 编辑: excrement 来自: 128.205.231.174 (03/26 22:43)
1F:推 jarlinlove:Thank you very much! For my view, I just want to 03/29 19:20
2F:→ jarlinlove:say that a zoo doesn't have no useful purpose 03/29 19:20
3F:→ jarlinlove:but it's useful purpose is not so useful. 03/29 19:21
4F:→ jarlinlove:and the third reason..I admit it's not pursuasive:( 03/29 19:21







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