作者dvlin (Dee)
看板ST-English
标题Re: [[写作班] 托福第30周 citc
时间Sat Mar 7 10:29:34 2009
※ 引述《citc (leo)》之铭言:
: Choose one of the following topics:
: : 1. Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each
: : year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations
: : throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
: ______________________________________________________________________________
: As time goes by, people pay more and more attention on the quality of living.
to
: Even for students, school usually arranges the break after studying. People
^the
: have different opinion toward period of the vacation. Some people consider
opinions ^^^^^^the duration
: that long vacation is suitable for students to plan trips. Students can learn
: something that can't learn from courses. On the other hand, some people
cannot be learned
: prefer the short vacation rather than long vacation. People think that
^the
: short vacation can easily help recover the energy and refresh the spirit
^a ^and sufficiently*
: without long time.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"without long time" is implied by "short" vacation, and is redundant.
I suggest adding 'sufficiently' to the previous part for emphasis.
: In my opinion, I prefer the latter opinion because there are two reasons
: following.
: First of all, the vacation emphasize on the quality but the period. Some
the long vacation emphasizes not quality but duration.
: students have no idea to arrange the vacation and easily waste time.
^how
: Parents usually are so busy in working that can't pay full attention to
^they
: their plans. Take my summer vacation of the elementary school as an example,
: I remember that I often watched TV for all day and just took a rest to eat,
: and then went back to watch TV. The repeated activities were meaningful
^^^^^^^^^^?
Then perhaps they were not really meaningful? Maybe you could just say,
"My activities were repetitive because I did not know how to plan my vacation."
: because I do not know how to plan my vacation.
did
: However, the short break is enough for recovery of exhausted physical and
^the
: mental bodies whether outside activities or sleeping at home.
states ("mental body" may be a contradiction)
: Secondly, the short vacation makes students hardly forget the learning
^^^^^^^^^^^^
what they have learned
: in school.
: That the long vacation that isolated students from schools makes students
xxxx xxxx isolates x and makes them
: uneasily to concentrate on studying. They might distract with the TV program
uneasy They might become distracted by TV programs
: and video games that have contacted with them for all vacation and have the
are accessible for them develop
: bad inhabit that hardly get rid of. The long time easily make people develop
habits are hard to get rid of makes
: the habit unconsciously. For instance, I felt tired of studying in the
: morning because it is the time that I still slept in the vacation.
was
: By this way, that will affect the efficiency of learning.
"My efficiency of learning was affected" connects well from the previous
sentence.
: To sum up, although long vacation is more convenient to travel and join
^the makes it more convenient... ^^^^
participate in
: extracurricular activity, the short break is more advantageous than the long
activities
: vacation. I agree that students should have several short vacations.
: 谢谢大大耐心的看完 ~
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1F:推 citc:Thank you a lot~ I have a lot of problem in grammar >< 03/07 12:10
2F:→ citc:I should check that in first. Sorry~ 03/07 12:12
3F:→ dvlin:There is no need to say sorry - editing is our job here! 03/08 00:25
4F:→ dvlin:In the real exam, there is little time for checking, 03/08 00:26
5F:→ dvlin:that's why it's helpful to practice here! 03/08 00:26