※ 引述《mcshady (Feather)》之铭言： : 4. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? : Telephones and email have made communication between : people less personal. Use specific reasons and examples : to support your opinion. : In 20th century, the telephone and the Internet were invented : by humanity. The effects brought by the telephone and the : email deeply change our lifestyles, and thus impact our way : of communication. Nowadays, some people still prefer to use : the traditional methods, like handwritten letters, to : communicate with their families or friends for the reason that : the original mode is more personal; however, I don't agree : with that statement. My reasons for this point of view are : listed below. : First of all, my main reason to disagree with the statement ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ : is that the telephone and the email can save our time for ^^^^^^^^^^ 这一段或可删掉，直接写that後面的topic sentences即可，较为精简。 : communication and increase the frequency to communicate : with our family or friends. It can be given a concrete : example that we can call our family or email to one of : our friends immediately when we desire to do that. : Due to the conveniences brought by the telephone and : the email, we can communicate with our family or : friends more frequent than using the traditional way. ^^^^^^^^ frequently 副词修饰动次 : Second, perhaps one drawback to disagree the statement is : that the telephone and the email can't express our real : emotions and reveal the reality. For instance, to : communicate with other people by letter papers can : show your handwriting and present your mood in : writing the letter. Therefore, there are few people who : insist to send the Christmas cards in writing. : Third, even though there may be one or two disadvantages to : disagree the statement, the advantages far outweigh them. : Another principle reason for my inclination to : disagree with the statement is that the email also can : achieve the same result as the letter does. Furthermore, : contacting other people via the telephone, we can easier ^^^^^^^^ can + 原V （少了动词） : to communicate our feelings to the others though our : voices. For example, when you are arguing with : someone, it's more difficult to bottle your angry in : communication via telephone than via the letter. : That's why the experienced negotiators will avoid : communicating with the counterparty via telephone in : some unpleasant cases. : For all of the above reasons, in spite of the fact that there : may have one or two disadvantages to disagree with the : statement, I still consider that the advantages are more obvious. : To communicate with other people via the telephone or the email : may save our time for communication and increase the frequency to : communicate with our family or friends. In addition, the email : also can achieve the same result as the letter does, and the : telephone can easier to communicate our feelings to the others. ^^^^^^^^^^^缺少动词 : Taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the : conclusion that telephones and emails won't make : communication between people less personal. 您好： 您的架构非常清楚，以下有些小小建议与疑问。 1.您的句子通常都以 A1 + that A2 的方式呈现。然而有些句子如上面所述，是可以删除 让句子更精简的。（不过听说制式的ETS电脑写作批改软体，如果多写一些transitional word或that子句，可以把分数拉高，不知道是不是真的 Q_Q） 2. 感觉您的论点并没有特别强调「为何没有less personal」 First：增加与家人和朋友的沟通频率（+） --> 便利性？ Second：无法表达情绪及真实感（-）-->理解，确实有perosnal emotion的成分在 Third: 提出对second的质疑（+） 其实我自己在写这个题目的时候，也对於「less peronal」是什麽意思感到困惑 一开始很难下笔。 想请教大家这类的文章是否需要先定义所谓「personal」是指什麽呢？ 如我自己在写时会倾向将less personal 引导至 less privacy（电话跟email比较容易 遭到窃听或未经本人同意被转寄），然後举例。 我的写作老师说这样的逻辑推演是OK的 感觉写作最难的部分还是「逻辑」通不通 Q_Q 谢谢 ~* -- 如果把思念化成海... 那麽我的爱就像大海一样....深深蓝蓝的 --

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