※ 引述《lovegracie (爱情是两面刃)》之铭言： : ※ 引述《dvlin (Dee)》之铭言： : : Choose one of the following topics. : : 1. Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy : : them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and : People have a variety of views on the issue that whether a city should try to : preserve its historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern : buildings. It is known that the topic is so controversial and complicated : that deserves more considerations. As a college student who has strong : interests in history, I strongly believe that a city should definitely : preserve its historic buildings. There are several reasons to support my : views as follow. xxxxxxxxx 整段前四行都很....没说到重点。 文法很好但是都没说到重点。整段一直强调这个议题多麽具争议性，多麽值得注意， 但完全没有提到是怎麽样争议或怎样值得考虑。 而且模版影子很重，应该是从哈佛IBT写作的书一字不漏抄下来的。 我个人同意那本书作者的前半部，但不同意到後半部他要学生使用模版。 : First of all, the old building in a city can remind the citizens the old buildings ^of its the 删掉 : memorable and precious history of the city. It is important for the people Why is it important? There are some people in other countries that look down on their culture or history. How are you going to support your argument that "reminding citizens of their precious history" is very important? : who live in the city to remember and appreciate the past of their city, : and preserving the historic buildings can be a proper way to do so. ------ 有argument，但很weak。 How proper? : Besides, maintaining the old buildings can achieve educational purpose : in some aspects. History is a great teacher, and learning history enables ------- Which aspects? : us to cultivate critical thinking and see the big picture of the past. -----------------------------------? Sentence unclear. : Moreover, historic buildings can help us understand both the past and : the present of the city. Why and how? : Secondly, it is obvious that the historic building can become a beautiful xxx buildings x : scene for the appearance of the city.It is apparent that historic building spots ----------------------awkward buildings 这种讲法有，但不是这样用 不会只保留「一幢」历史古蹟 : usually plays an essential role in the city, since it can represent both play they : the traditional role and ancient spirit of the city. Furthermore, it is spirits represent traditional role 的讲法很奇怪 : positive that we can appreciate those old buildings from the perspective --------? : of aesthetics. ^the : Last but not least, the old historic buildings can become a tourist : attraction in the city, and it can assist the city in its sightseeing ^^^^^^wrong verb : industry. For example, the Great Wall in Beijing is not only a : breathtaking and amazing architecture but also one of the most : famous tourist attractions in the world. It attracts millions of tourist : around the world to visit Beijing, and undoubtedly it brings remarkable : business opportunities to Beijing. 这段大概是论点比较明确比较"solid"的部分 : Given that the reasons I mention above is not only solid but also sound, xxxx , which are not only... : I, without any hesitation, consider that a city should try to preserve ----------------------语气过强。类似的句子放在文章里显得很不成熟。 : its old and historic buildings rather than destroying them and replace them destroy : with modern buildings. For your reference. ^^; fleuve -- 然後有一天我ꄠ 靠在窗 前，会发现原来我是株 ╭╮──╪──╭╮ 不 ＊ fleuve ＊ 需要阳光的植物︴1mK︴30m直到有一天我闭上眼睛 ╰╯──╪──╰╯ 看不见自己、却可以看见你…ꄠ ♂ -- ※ 编辑: fleuve 来自: 118.168.40.70 (07/01 17:29)