作者Xinlong (冰狩)
标题[转录]Re: [写作班] 托福第13周 Xinlong 4
时间Thu Jun 12 19:29:30 2008
※ [本文转录自 Xinlong 信箱]
作者: philJamy (Jamy)
标题: Re: [写作班] 托福第13周 Xinlong 4
时间: Thu Jun 12 19:19:08 2008
Good try!
※ 引述《Xinlong (冰狩)》之铭言:
: ※ 引述《Xinlong (冰狩)》之铭言:
: Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others
: prefer to work for an employer. I personality would like to work for an
^^^^^^^^^^^persoally
: employer in a small company at first. Because I am young and has no
: experience and practice in work, working in a small company is easily then
easier than in
: a big company.
notice the use of noun , adv., and adj.
: If I work for an small company for some period of time, I will learn more
: knacks and skills. Other benefit for working in small company is you will
^^^^
: learn to do all the things by yourself (from the beginning to the end). I
^^^^^^^^^
: will improve technique of conversation with my coworker, client and boss.
in Chinese, "you" and "I" are often used for the same meaning.
like 如果你去怎样怎样,你就会怎样 actully means that如果我....我就....
so, remain CONSISTANT. You're talking about yourself.
Use "I" instead of "you."
: After I have enough experience and skills. I can work for myself on the
: stuff I interested or even own a business. Neither work for an employer nor
: own a business, I will sufficient for my job. I think working is not only
: handsome money but also need to be interesting and enjoy. If I don't love my
: job, how can I invested a lot of time on that?
: p.s:
: I try to amend my essay, please give me some advice, thanks.
Please always consider the connection of your essay and the topic.
The last 2 sentences seem to have nothing to do with the topic?
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