作者dvlin (Dee)
看板ST-English
标题Re: [写作班]托福第十周 ideos-2
时间Wed May 14 08:19:27 2008
※ 引述《ideos (桤)》之铭言:
: 2. Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work
: for a small company. Which would you prefer? Use specific examples
: or details to support your choice.
: Working is one of the important things in our life. Nowadays, more and more
lives
: people emphasize their living quality, thus what kind of works people choose
^and work
: may bring a huge impact. Some people work for living, others live for
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*
*The grammatically correct expression is "work for 'a' living". However, it
appears that you intend to play on contrasting expressions "work for living"
and "live for working".
I suggest "live to work" and "work to live", to keep the literary device of
contrast, as well as grammatic correctness.
: working. It doesn’t matter good or worth, but personal preference.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*
*incomplete sentence; I suggest ending the previous sentence with
a period, and then add, "It is (just) a personal preference."
: Until now, I have no experience about working. In my future plan, I would
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
working experience just "In the future" is fine, too
: like work for a large company first. I think working in a large company could
^to
: help young men, someone likes me, to familiarize office atmosphere and adjust
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
* ^with the
(plural) (singular)
*What comes inside a comma-separated phrase qualifies what's outside.
Therefore, they should both be plural or singular.
Suggestion: "...help a young man like me to..."
: living rhythm. If I made a big fortune, I will create my own business,
make
: a small company.
: Different plan for two stages of my life is the best choice for me.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Having different plans
: 好久没写作文了
: 本来就对作文苦手
: 现在感觉差更多
: 请用力的帮我订正
: 非常感谢!!!
Not bad! I like your reasoning and personal example. While the TOEFL test
is not very strict about the paragraph structure of an essay, a slightly
longer essay with less grammatic slip may earn a better score on the test.
Most of the error are minor, but watch for the use of comma clauses.
The best practice is to keep writing!
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◆ From: 99.231.10.180
※ 编辑: dvlin 来自: 99.231.10.180 (05/14 08:30)
1F:推 ideos:谢谢! 05/14 09:30