作者dvlin (Dee)
看板ST-English
标题Re: [写作班]mingtai1 托福第一周4
时间Fri Feb 8 07:35:11 2008
※ 引述《mingtai1 (( ̄︿ ̄メ)╭∩╮)》之铭言:
: It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books."
: Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge
: gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?
: Text:
: In my view, there is not a clear answer about whether knowledge gained from
: experience or books is more important. Instead, its importance is dependent
: upon individuals. For some people, experience matters more than knowledge
^the
: contained in books, since the way they earn their livings is not really so
living
: related to books. For example, some farmers do not receive much education,
: but they know everything related to farming well, which is, as is often the
: case, acquired from experience. For these people, whether they know much
: of the knowledge contained in books or not does not seem to be so important.
: However, for some other people, gaining knowledge from books is necessary for
: them, especially when the knowledge in books plays an important role for
: them to earn their livings. Scientists are an example of these people.
living
: Certainly, such people may also be able to live by finding other jobs which
: do not require much knowledge contained in books. When they really want to
: do so, experience may then turn out to be the most important stuff, which is
: the point stated before that the importance of experience and knowledge in
: books is dependent upon whoever is using them.
There aren't many grammatic errors in this article at all, which is good.
However, most of the content seems perhaps a bit repetitive, and lacks
details in the examples. Such an article will probably earn a 4 (out of 6)
on the writing part of TOEFL, which fulfills the admission requirement for
most, but not all, North American post-secondary institutions.
To earn a score of 5, perhaps you could structure the article the following
way. After a brief introduction, split the body into two paragraphs.
Now there are at least two ways to contruct them.
The first way:
Write one paragraph naming several occupations where knowledge gained from
experience is more important than books. Then write another paragraph for
the reverse.
The second way:
Just provide one example each (farmer vs. scientist), and go into a little
more detail, listing some of the things they do that can only be learned
from experience/books.
Hope this helps. :)
--
一个 学术英文写作 领域的讨论板 在 PTT (telnet:ptt.cc〉
【 分组讨论区 】
--> 11 国家研究院 政治, 文学, 学术
--> 科学学术研究院
--> ★ST-English PTT 学术英文/论文写作班
--
※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 65.92.173.114
1F:推 mingtai1:Thank you! :) 02/08 11:51