英文的句子长，中文的句子短。 想把英文的句子写好，就得把中文的习惯改过来， 不能写好几个短句，而是要把几个短句合并起来。 另外，用的字也不能从中文的意义去思考， 最好还是回到英文原来的定义。 ※ 引述《mingtai1 (snake)》之铭言： : ※ 引述《corson (浪人剑客)》之铭言： : : Let me introduce the biography about Newton (1643-1727), the grandest : : scientist in the 17 century. 我会说： I would like to introduce the life of Isaac Newton, the greatest scientist of the 17th century. 1."Let me"改成"I would like to"其实没什麽原因，纯粹是我自己觉得顺， 不改应该也无妨。 2.biography的定义是「他人写的传记」，如果用这个字，我会觉得你在 介绍一本书。所以直接用life就好。 3.grand这个字，根据Collins COBUILD字典的定义，用在人的身上有贬意， 是指那个人自以为重要。这样的意义，你在中文字典里可能查不出来， 可是外国人看到这个字就别扭了。 4.以学术论文来讲，第一次提到的人名最好连名带姓，後面才会只称呼姓。 缩写的规则亦同。第一次写到ROC，最好把全名Republic of China 整个写出来。 : : Newton was born in a remote village, and his family was not very rich. : : This point also affected his college life. He had to be a assistant of : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^这也有点中式英文 ^^an : 可以写Therefore, Hence连接前因後果就行了. 其实整段都是中文短句，要写得像英文，得再重新排列一下。 例如： Born in a disadvantageous family in a remote village, Newton's college life was affected by his background, and he was therefore forced to take the job as an assistant of a professor, in which he learned very much. 1.用disadvantageous是因为我一下想不到更恰当的字， 因为我不知道not very rich是穷到什麽程度。 2.这样写把你三四句的东西变成一句，其实表达的东西都一样， 只是改动了句型的架构，但相信效果应该不太一样。 : : professor, and learn many things. Newton was not very special in his : ^^^^^^^^^ ^^ed : 这里你要指明限定某些教授his/the professor(s)或是不限定(professors) : : boyhood days, but he was interested in unknown. : boyhood就可以指童年 unknowns 这一句我会写成： He was not very special in his boyhood, but he was interested in the unknown. 1.Newton前面已经提过，後面就可以用代名词，不必反覆提整个字了。 2.其实用字变换一下，效果可以更强。 例如special改unusual、outstanding、extraordinary interested in 改成fascinated by 3.这里有个叙述顺序的问题。你第一句就提到他的大学生活， 可是第二句又回到他的童年，下面又谈到大学生活， 顺序是否应该调整一下比较好？ : : Newton entered Cambridge Unverisity, and met a good teacher who affectd 有些东西直接用代名词跟介系词表达，会简洁一点。 这句可以直接写： In Cambridge University, he met a good teacher who greatly influenced him in the field of science and philosophy. 1. greatly加进去，应该更能强调你要表达的意思。 2. affect前面用过了，换个字，增加点变化。 : : Newton in science and philosophy. Newton had studied the light structure He studied the structure of lights with a prism after his graduation. 1.这里没有必要用过去完成式。过去简单式即可。 2.「用……工具」是用with这个介系词而非by。 3.写"after graduating"的话，我会期待你後面再写个"from..."。 这里直接用名词即可，不必用动名词。 : : by prism after graduating. He was back to his country because of the ^^^ 用went会比较好。 : : plague. He thought the calculus, gravity and optic in this period. 这里的thought是思考吗？还是发明、想出？ 发明的话是invented，发现的话是discovered，用字要精确些。 He invented calculus, and discovered the law of gravity and optics in this period. the law of gravity: 万有引力定律 optics:光学 : : Newton wrote some books, and the famous one, Principle, described the 这句我会这样写： He wrote some books, and in the most famous one, "Principle", he described the laws of motion. 1.书名记得要有标点的变化。有些学术论文格式会要求你用斜体来标书名。 2.laws of motion:运动定律有三条吧？ : : law of motion. This achievement affects the later several hundred-year : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ : This books had affected the development of science for the following several : hundred years 其实这两句可以直接合并起来。 He wrote some books, and in the most famous one, "Principle", he described the laws of motion, an achievement that affected the development of science for hundreds of years. BTW，这里也没有必要用过去完成式。 : : science. Netwon was also a inventor, and he inventor reflective telescope : ^^an invented : : by his understanding of optic. : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 这句感觉有点多余. 其实是可以写的，只是这样可能更好： He was also the inventor of the reflective telescope, which is a production of his understanding in optics. optic"s"的s还是要加，少了这个，词性就不一样了。 : : In my option, Newton's law of motion represents a predictable world concept. : : That indeed conflicts with the later quantum mechanics. Overall, Netwon In my opinion, his laws of motion represent a predictable world model, which indeed conflicts with quantum mechanics in later days. opinion拼成option了。option是「选项」的意思。 : : owned multiple identity, scientist, mathematician, and philosopher. : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ : 中式英文. Identity是身份;而且和此要表达的意义不合.你可以考虑用Multidimensional He is multi-faceted. He is a scientist, a mathematician, and a philosopher at the same time. : : No doubt he was all excellent in these fields. His achievement is much : excellent in all these fields. : : more than I can describe. : : I found some information about Newton in internet, and revise it. : on d ^^^^^^^^^^^^ on the Internet. : : Please give me some comments for this. Thank you. 请参考，加油罗。 --

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