作者yamolinya (Life is random)
看板ST-English
标题Re: [写作班]第二周 找工作计画 mingtai1
时间Fri Nov 2 18:04:13 2007
※ 引述《brendonfish (fish)》之铭言:
: ※ 引述《mingtai1 (snake)》之铭言:
: : I have been working in an academic institute since my graduation
: : two years ago. I majored in computer science, and sometimes I write
: ^^^^^^^^^这里使用 sometimes,
: 会让我联想到其他时候你的工作是?
: 建议写成 My major is computer science,
: therefore I write customized application software
请问为什麽用therefore? major in computer science & write application 并没有
绝对关系,用and 似乎较为恰当?
: after school.
: : applications according to customers' demands. During these days,
: : I realized that a person should not have only one skill, and I realized
: 这样写如何呢? a person with only one skill is not competitive, and ...
: 建议把这句断开,然後重新选择连接词让语意连贯。
: : the fact that programming cannot be a forever career for me, so I learned
: ^. Therefore,
: : English a lot and took TOEIC exam and hope I would be able to work in
: ^^^^^^^^^ such that
同样: I learned English a lot and took TOEIC exam such that I would be
able to work....为什麽要用such that?
: : foreign companies for my next job and hopefully I can have the opportunities
: ^. Then I have the opportunities ...
其实感觉起来修改完以後就不是原作者要表达的意思....
: : to work abroad for my company so that I can visit scenic spots
: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ and visit ...
: : around the world.
: 个人意见,
: 给你参考。
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1F:推 mingtai1:原本我以为majored过去式, write现在式可以表达出意思,不 11/03 18:43
2F:→ mingtai1:不过看来还是容易误会. yam说的其实也对 两种写法意思有 11/03 18:43
3F:→ mingtai1:同不过也不会差太多 表达手法不同 目的应该一样 11/03 18:44
4F:→ mingtai1:第三行一开始是不同,少打一字 11/03 18:45