作者HIbaby (嗨北鼻)
看板ST-English
标题Re: [写作班] 第一周 Toilet paper, HIbaby
时间Wed Oct 24 20:42:42 2007
toilet paper
Several materials - such as leaves, cloth or kraft paper- provide
perseonal cleaning in bathroom. Kraft paper have a benefit character,
that is cheap. However, the sense of touch and the ability of water
absorption is not so good. The length of fibers in paper materials
determines comfortable sense of touch. Here, we developed a new kind
of paper in novel structure, named as toilet paper, which are constructed
by short fibers. We provide the toilet paper in schools and department
stores to explore user’s feeling after use and analyze the water absorption.
From the results of the questionnaires, 99% people feel good comparing to
past experience. Toilet paper, which absorb water 10 times faster than
kraft paper, provide a new choice for people in bathroom.
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谢谢板上先进的改正, 整理之後. 比原本的文章好很多.
看到了自己的缺点
a. 名词当动词用. 用名词用习惯了, 混着用实在很糟糕
b. 累赘字太多, 可以合并同主词句
c. 打完文章好, 自己先检查仔细.
d. 动词使用 多翻字典 注意使用法.
为了改善毛病. 整理写作班同学的文章, 边看修改处, 可以学习别人用法.
再一次道谢. 希望现在抢救英文还来得及 ^_^
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◆ From: 133.11.50.150
※ 编辑: HIbaby 来自: 133.11.50.150 (10/24 20:45)
1F:推 CoolBlack:版大,你explore的原意是评估,不晓得evaluate会不会比 10/25 20:13
2F:→ CoolBlack:较贴近您的原意呢?商管类倒还蛮常出现的..."evalaute" 10/25 20:13
3F:→ CoolBlack:我是说"evaluate",抱歉...>"<病昏了...囧rz 10/25 20:14