Ella 文章日期： 2010/1/9 下午 11:06:05 Few wishes by KJ：＜Life is full of surprise.＞ It still amuses me that people are actually going to see through the scenes to my inner world of thinking. I am not good - in fact very bad - at presenting myself to people, therefore usually people take me to its extreme, either hate me or love me. Many would think I am a talented young boy who doesnt treasure my gifts, or some would think I am living in my own fantasies being fake to people... Doesn’t matter. Recently one of my friends said we are defined by the people around us, but I think its more important how we answer to our souls. I am an intentionalist. I believe its how we answer to ourselves at the end of the day that matters. consequentially I may have hurt a lot of people back many times. Well, maybe sometimes i meant them. =P perhaps out of frustration or immaturity. yet at least I hope i didnt want to. Mix feelings of strong personality, confusion, lack of direction, immaturity in ideas, (parental) influences may be good excuses? Ha-ha... self-evaluating my teenage life is painful, there were so many undesirable decisions that i have made. I must say I hated how I dealt with people but yet I also treasure these mistakes for bringing myself to who I am. grudges. I hate myself for being crowned as "talented" or even "genius" which firstly, are not true; and secondly, destroyed my childhood. Implicated by Chinese astrology, I believe everyone has his own path and destiny. Imagine what would happen if my mum didnt register me and my siblings with that piano teacher, but instead took me to a math class and my father trained me like he did to my piano - 2 hours at lunch and perhaps a little more at night. then entering me to competitions and kept crowning achievements. To the extend that it becomes the only topic for 10 years on the dining table. now you may say I am superficial and dont understand what competitions have brought to me. but if you do the same competition at February and March for 10 years in your childhood, then you may have the sympathy. Competitions did give me motivation. it was very cool and satisfying to achieve some little thing when you were 8. But it also subtly forced me to play the music for the wrong reason. I must say I am also fortunate to have been in the competitions. They brought me to realize its meaningless destruction to ones music earlier than other people. Ha-ha at least my father is obsessed with it, still. So after years of inner conflict, I have realized it doesnt matter who we are, but what we are. Maybe that poor guy is destined to steal those 30 bucks. I am destined to be dumped by the same person 3 times in a row; Mozart was destined to be the greatest prodigy ever. Yet I do believe in fairness out of all these chaos. I am convinced that under the unlimited varieties in this world, God dont simply judge us by whether we explicitly "put our faith in God" nor do the "right" thing. But I believe he looks at how we grow upon our sincerity. and be true to ourselves as human being. I dont believe in Heaven. Because I believe we are all living in Heaven already. We are just blindfolded by our immature human nature, too foolish to admit. Hope those who have watched KJ like it. You guys are lucky as I havent watched it myself. 来自KJ的一些祝福: 「生命是充满着惊喜」 对於人们真的将藉由观影来「看」到我内在世界的思考这件事，仍令我感到不可思议。我 并不擅於，事实上是很差劲地，在人群前呈现自己，因此通常别人对我的看法很两极，不 是恨我就是爱我。许多人会觉得我是个有天赋的年轻人，却不怎麽珍惜自己的才华，或某 些人会认为我只是活在自己的幻想里，对人很虚假......无所谓。最近一位朋友说我们是 被身边的人所定义的，但我认为，更重要的是我们怎麽回应自己的灵魂。 So, one may be a billionaire, artist, janitor, lawyer, doctor, beggar, whatever. For me it depends great deal on personality, background and education. somebody might just got bad luck and achieve nothing in his life, but just another classmate in your F1 class may be the most successful man. Isnt God unfair? I was confused into tears in front of the camera because of that in that interview in Czech 8 years ago. I remember right before I went to Czech I saw a bunch of people chasing after a thief on the street in Bangkok. The poor thief was half naked, skinny like me (oh well), climbing up one of the oldest buildings trying to escape from justice perhaps because he stole 30 bucks for food. I was literally shocked. one hour earlier I was practicing the piano and I never knew that there is so much tragedy, unfairness and sadness in this world. I simply didnt understand it. 我是个意图主义者(intentionalist)。我相信在生命的最终我们如何回应自己才是最重要 的。因此我或许曾伤害过许多人许多次。或许有时我是故意的 =P 出於愤怒或不成熟。但 至少我「希望」我并不想这麽做。个性强烈、混乱、失去方向、想法不成熟、「父母」的 影响，或许都是好的藉口？哈哈......分析自己的青少年生涯是痛苦的，因为我曾做出许 多不讨好的决定。我必须说我厌恶自己对待别人的方式，但我也很珍惜这些错误，是它们 帮助我成为自己。 翻译者：altina & Tzuting H 我痛恨自己被冠上「有天赋」，甚至「天才」。首先，这并不是真的；其次，它摧毁我的 童年。就像中国人所谓的命理，我相信每个人都有自己的路及命运。试想，如果母亲并没 带我和兄妹去跟那位钢琴老师学琴，而是带我去上数学班，而父亲训练我的数学像他训练 我弹钢琴一样—午时2小时，晚上或许再多一点，之後让我参加比赛且继续获得更多成就 ，甚至变成十年饭桌上唯一的话题。现在你或许会说我很肤浅，不了解比赛给予我的；但 如果你每年二月和三月参加同样的比赛，这样的生活，在你的童年持续个十年，或许你就 会有这份同情。 比赛的确带给我动力。当你八岁能获得某些小东西是很酷、很有成就的，但也隐约逼着 我为了错误的理由演奏音乐。诸多的比赛，让我比别人更早领悟到比赛毫无意义地摧毁一 个人的音乐。哈哈，不过，我的父亲仍旧对比赛很着迷。 一个人有可能是亿万富翁、艺术家、守卫、律师、医生、乞丐等等。对我来说，这有很 大的部分取决於个性、成长背景以及教育环境。有的人就是很不幸，在他的生命里什麽也 没获得，但另一个在你F1班级的同学或许就是最「成功」的人。上帝是不是很不公平？在 镜头前，我为此困惑到落泪，那是八年前我在捷克接受访问的时候。记得抵达捷克之前， 我在曼谷街头目睹一群人追着一名小偷。那可怜的小偷半裸，像我一样瘦(嗯 没错)，为 了逃避司法制裁，他爬上一栋老旧的建筑。或许，他是为了买东西吃才偷走30元。这一幕 ，让我非常震惊；一个小时前，我还在弹奏钢琴，我从来不知道这个世界有这麽多的悲剧 、不公平和悲伤。我根本无法明白。 经过多年的内在冲突，我领悟到我们是谁并不重要，重要的是：我们是什麽。或许那个可 怜的家伙注定要偷那30元。我注定被同一个人抛弃3次；莫札特注定是有史以来最伟大的 奇才。但在这些混乱之外，我仍然相信公平。我深信在这世上无穷变化底下，上帝并不会 轻易地以我们是否「外显」地「将我们的信仰投注在上帝」或做「对」的事情而评断我们 。但我相信祂会看着我们如何出於真诚地成长，且诚实地面对自己身为一个人。 我不相信天堂。因为我相信我们已经生活在天堂里。我们只是被我们不成熟的天性给蒙蔽 ，太愚蠢才去承认吧。 希望那些看过KJ的人会喜欢它。你们很幸运，因为连我自己都还没看过。 http://www.him.com.tw/forum_1.asp?fid=6279&sid=2 --

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