警告: 有新哽, 老哽, 烂哽, 跟没品哽, 不爽不要看. 不要看完叫大家尊重你. http://whiterthanrice.blogspot.com/2007/09/theo-epstein-needs-to-get-some-attitude.html Hey, I'd never ever want Vince McMahon running the Sox, because we'd end up with stupid plotlines like Larry Lucchino faking his own death by blowing up his limo, or allowing things like Jonathan Papelbon taking a dump in Hazel Mae's gym bag, but they call the WWE "Sports Entertainment" for a reason. Because it's damn entertaining. 我永远不想看到Vince McMahon来经营红袜对，因为最後一定会有一堆烂剧情像Larry Lucchino把自己的礼车炸掉, 或放纵球员到Jonathan Papelbon可以在Hazel Mae的包包 里拉抛屎, 但是我们叫WWE "体育娱乐"有原因的, 因为娱乐性实在是太赞了. ideas/Changes: 1) Vince McMahon would never take this sub .400 SLG bullshit from JD Drew. Vince McMahon would walk down to the dressing room and inject JD himself. Vince McMahon绝对不会让JD Drew有维持他的烂低於400长打率. Vince McMahon 会亲自去休息室把JD Drew打药 2) The whole NESN team fired and replaced with the WWE team. Lillian Garcia is about 20 times hotter than Tina Cervasio, so there's no reason that shouldn't happen. Orsillo is a rambling fool, and JR has a Texas Accent, so Jim Ross wins by default. Jerry the King Lawler I think molested a 15 year old once, so sorry, Remdawg is gone. NESN的转播团队可以走路了, WWE的转播团队取代他们. Lillian Garcia比Tina Cervacio 正差不多20倍，所以说这没有理由不做. Don Orsillo是个爱岁岁念的白痴, JR有个 德州腔, 所以JR自动保送. Jerry "the King" Lawler好像有姓侵害过个15岁小朋友，所 以不好意思, Remdawg你可以找新工作了. Can you imagine the goodness: 来个范例: "BY GAWD!!! PEDROIA!!! PEDROIA!!! PEDROIA!!! HE JUST SINGLED THROUGH BRIMSTONE AND HELLFIRE TO GIVE THE RED SOX THE LEAD!!! I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!! HE DESTROYED THAT BALL UP THE MIDDLE AS IF GOD HIMSELF CAME DOWN AND SMITED THE TESTICLES OF LUCIFER HIMSELF!!!" 天啊!!! PEDROI!!! PEDROIA!!! PEDROIA!!! 他把球打穿越了地狱之火!!!红袜领先了!! 我无法相信我眼前的事情!!! 他把球打的像上帝从天堂下来打恶魔的懒趴一样!!! 3) Apparently tonight on Raw, Randy Orton fought JOHN CENA'S DAD (you're reading that correctly) with John Cena handcuffed to the ring. And Orton RKO'ed his dad. Maybe Theo can get a roid-raged Giambi to fight Mike Timlin in a cage.The age difference is probably similar and it would be awesome to watch. 今天晚上Randy Orton打了John Cena的老爸, John Cena被绑在场外. 然後John cena 的老爸被Orton RKO. 搞不好Theo可以把Giambi跟Mike Timlin放在个笼子里. 结果 差不多吧 4) Francona would be fired. Francona会被火调 Gimmicks/Plotlines: 新卖点/剧情 1) Kevin Youkilis as the Kosher Killer. Gabe Kapler would be his sidekick friend. Kevin Youkilis是"犹太杀手", Gabe Kapler是他的小弟 2) Dustin Pedroia as the Godfather. He needs to come out to every AB with like 5 Hoes. All of them should be taller than he is, and the Fenway speakers should play 80's porno music. Dustin Pedroia是"神父". (驻: 在WWE里"The Godfather"是个皮条客). 他每次出来 打击都要带5个妹出来，那5个妹都会比他高，而且Fenway的喇叭会放80年代的A片音乐 After the games, he'd visit the NESN news booth and slap Hazel Mae in the ass and ask her to perform sexual favours on air. She'd agree and enjoy it. I know I would. 比赛结束以後他会去NESN的录影室, 拍Hazel Mae的屁股, 然後叫他在电视上让他爽. 然後Hazel Mae会同意. 我知道我会. 3) Julio Lugo as the Mexican Dream. Of course, when the dream is shattered, he drinks a bottle of tequila and puts his wife through a table. Julio Lugo是"墨西哥的美梦". 当然，当美梦被打破以後，他会喝一瓶Tequila然後 把他老婆摔进一张桌子里 4) Jacoby vs. Joba: Loser Goes Back to the Reservation Match. There's some tribal feud over sacred burial grounds, and Kyle Lohse is the special guest referee. But they end up finding out Kyle Lohse was the guy who betrayed their tribes to the White Man by polluting their ancestral lands for a 30 mil 4 yer a contract with the Atlanta Braves, so they tag-team together and beat up Kyle Lohse with whiskey bottles and smallpox syringes. Jacoby vs. Joba: 输的人回印地安人保留区. 两个族群因为神圣的葬地闹起来, 然後Kyle Lohse是特别裁判. 但是後来发现Kyle Lohse背叛了两个族群, 用了一个4年 30m的代价出卖了两个族群，让白人污染印地安人的地. 被抓包以後，两个人把Kyle Lohse用威师机瓶子跟天花病毒打烂他. Seriously, the top 3 causes of the Native American Man's Fall: 1) Whiskey 2) Smallpox 3) Kyle Lohse. That man alone basically set his entire people back 10 years. 说真的, 历使北美印地安人三个最大问题: 1) 酗酒 2) 天花 3) Kyle Lohse 5) Jonathan Papelbon as Kane. He should burn off his eyebrows, and instead of entering to "Wild Thing", he should enter to the Kane theme song, Fenway should go dark, and there should be fire everywhere. Jonathan Papelbon是Kane. 他应该把他的眉毛烧掉, 然後他的音乐变成Kane的主题曲. Fenway的灯会官掉, 然後球场要装喷火器 6) Giambi and Sheffield while on roid rage with Hideki Matsui's help kidnap Okajima and Matsuzaka's wives, threaten to turn them into Japanese Porn Stars and put them through tables. But they tag team with Mike Lowell to rescue them. Giambi跟Sheffield吃药完抓狂, 然後他们用了松井秀洗的帮忙绑架了松版跟天天冈的 老婆. 然後威胁把他们摔进桌子里跟把他们抓去演A片. 但是松版跟天天冈找Mike Lowell 的帮忙就回他们 7) Manny and Tavarez as a pirate tag-team. Manny跟大宝是个海盗的tag-team 8) Ortiz should drive a limo and run over Clemens and say he "did it for Manny". I don't really care what he did it for, somebody should be running over Clemens anyway. Ortiz开台礼车然後撞Roger Clemens, 然後说他"为了Manny而做的". 我懒个管他干嘛做 这件事，Clemens本来就应该被车撞. 9) Eric Gagne turns heel, chairshots Papelbon, rips off his Red Sox jersey, reveals a Baltimore Orioles jersey, and joins Eric Bedard and Justin Morneau as the Canadian Legion of Doom. Eric Gagne变成坏人, 拿椅子打Papelbon, 把红袜球衣拖吊，底下穿着金鸟的球衣, 然後 跟Bedard跟Morneau组成加拿大的恐怖部队 10) The 0-VORP Squad: Dougie, Hinske, Cora, and Snyder. Singles are for pussies. 这不用翻了吧 11) There Should be a Rival Faction called the "Radical Leftists" consisting of Johan Santana, Scott Kazmir, CC Sabathia, Mark Buerhle, Andy Pettite, Eric Bedard, Chad Gaudin, and Ted Lilly. They dominate the Sox all the time, but then Mike Myers would turn face and come to the Red Sox rescue. 红袜队有个天敌, 他们叫做"积进左派". 他们的成员有Santana, Kazmir, Sabathia, Buehrle, Pettite, Bedard, Gaduin, 跟 Lilly. 他们每次都把红袜打烂，但是偶尔 Mike Myers会秃然出来捅他们一刀帮红袜赢球. There should also be a sideplot with Javier Lopez wanting to join the leftists and getting rejected because he stinks. The Leftists also try to recruit Okajima, but he turns them down because he cannot betray his reverse platoon splits. 还会有一段插曲, Javier Lopez讲加入这团，但是因为他太鸟了，他被拒绝. 12) The Main Event Venue: Evolution with Curt Schilling, Josh Beckett, and Clay Buccholz. 最大排的event: Evolution, Curt Schilling是老大, Josh Beckett是中生代, 然後 新人是Clay Buccholz Clay's finishing move would be smashing a laptop over somebody's head and his catchphrase would be "I STOLE IT FROM POSADA'S SON!!!!" Clay的大绝招是把笔电砸在人家的头上. 然後他会大喊 "笔电是我是偷Posada儿子偷来的!!!!" --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 140.112.212.196 ※ 编辑: IronChef 来自: 140.112.212.196 (09/18 15:45)