Top 7 - Nasally Is a Form of Singing (Poorly) http://0rz.tw/c32A9 thefunnystone - April 17, 2007 - 9:18pm 乡村周：鼻音是一种唱（烂）歌的方法。（VFTW） This week the Idols sang with Martina McBride, the first guest judge in a while who could actually sing well. But it's country week, so taking a page from past country weeks, this week is going to be one big VFTW victory. That it is. Half of the performances are good and half stink to high hell. Who falls into which category? It shouldn't be hard to figure out, but let's recap this sucktacuar night anyway! 这礼拜参赛者跟一个终於比较会唱歌的明星共事，玛缇那。不过本周是乡村周，想必是 投最烂的一大历史页啊（看看以前的乡村周都长怎样就知道啦）。一半的表演还好然後 另一半烂到骨子里啦。谁还好？谁好烂？这应该不难看出来，管他的我们来回味一下这 个烂的精彩的夜晚吧！ Phil "Nosphilatu" Stacy started out first with Where the Blacktop Ends. It's kind of creepy, kind of weird, as always, but it's not terrible. I didn't really enjoy it, but after watching the entire show, Phil definitely falls right into the middle easily. Though if you don't want to be compared to a vampire, wearing all black isn't necessarily a good idea. The judges loved it, and hey, Phil's gonna need that to survive another week. I'd like him to stay purely so he can be a backup VFTW later on. Phil「吸血鬼」Stacy第一个唱 Where the Blacktop Ends。跟往常一样诡异地令人发 毛，不过不烂耶。我不太享受他的表演，可是看完全部节目之後，他应该没问题会被放 在中间团。衷心的建议噢，如果不想被拿来跟吸血鬼比较，那全身穿黑色实在不大是个 好主意。评审挺喜欢他的，Phil一定要撑过这礼拜啊。他可是我们选最烂的钦点备一。 Second up is Jordin Sparks. And I still can't make fun of this girl for much. Her outfit was pretty awful this week, but her singing was amazing. She easily outsang everyone else with a performance of a song that's overdone on Idol, but made it sound fresh. You know what? I can't seem to make fun of this girl. She always sings well and never does anything all that annoying. Thus, I ask you, loyal readers, to please e-mail me with possible nicknames for Jordin and some reasons to make fun of her. I need something to work with here, help me out! 再来是Jordin Sparks，然後我还是没办法取笑这女孩。她的衣着实在是很糟啊这礼拜， 但是唱得实在是太棒了。她简简单单地就唱倒其他人，选的歌是其他人唱到烂的歌，却又 可以让表演清新不无聊。ㄟ真的，我没办法取笑这女孩，亲爱的读者们，如果你们想到任 何可能的昵称，或者可能取笑的原因给我，我实在是没办法啦。 Third, Sanjaya "The Most Awesome Person on the Planet" Malakar wants to give us something to talk about. How about VFTW? This one will certainly get people talking, as will his do rag and baggy mock janitor's outfit. He's back to form and I'm loving it! The singing is worse than ever, and he's jumping around the stage like a true Worster. The judges basically return to their "how can we get rid of this guy" critique mode (though it's not like they ever say anything worthwhile anyway) and Simon looks pissed. He states, "It was funny for a while, but..." and then jumps into some ridiculous diatribe about how this competition is meant to find the next big superstar. No it isn't. You already found this magical person and this is a promotional tool rather than a talent competition. And it's still fun! So let's keep Sanjaya in the game, folks. 第三个是Sanjaya「天啊你真是太棒了全球最棒」Malakar，给我们「一些」东西去聊。 聊聊选最烂吧。这次表演肯定让大家聊不停的啦，啊，当然还有那一整身像路边清洁工 的衣着罗。他终於回到他的本位了，爱死他了！唱歌部份真是烂到无以复加，在台上根 本就是「」(Worster是啥啊？XD)。评审们也回到他们「到底是要怎样才能赶走这家 伙？」本位批评法（不过其实他们也没真正给过啥好建议），而且Simon看起来火大了。 他说，「一开始是很好笑啦，可是…」，然後就接着是一堆莫名其妙的诋毁说这个比赛 是要发掘下一个大明星云云。并不是。你已经找到一个不可多得的人选啦，他比较像宣 传工具，才不是拿来比才华的。而且这宣传工具还很有趣！所以罗，各位，我们继续把 Sanjaya留着吧！╰(￣▽￣)╯ LaKliche decides to jump into a different cliche this week by taking on former Idol Carrie Underwood's song, Jesus Take the Wheel. Martina loves it, but I'm not so sure this is a good idea. Carrie Underwood has no personality and only succeeds because she's pretty and people can listen to her on the radio. She's a terrible performer. Sure enough, LaKisha starts off okay, but the chorus becomes painful. She screams out to Jesus, and he's too busy telling her to sing a little softer to help her. Divas can't scream out everything, and this was an incredibly poor choice on LaKisha's part. Martina McBride is a screaming diva country singer, Jordin figured this out, but LaKisha went the wrong route. If you can belt, don't try belting a simple song like that one. The judges were correct to insult it, and hopefully this terrible performance is enough to send her packing and save Sanjaya. Lakisha 「啦啦啦老套」选了另一种老套来表演，Carrie Underwood的耶稣拿轮子。 Martina很爱，不过我不确定这是不是个好主意。Carrie根本没有个人特质，只是因为她 漂亮，然後大家可以在广播上听到她这样。Carrie台上表演烂翻了。Lakisha开始还行， 可是到了副歌就糟了。她对着耶稣哭号，看来耶稣有点小忙，以致於忘了告诉她唱软一 点。天后不能什麽都尖叫啊，Lakisha挑这首还真是错翻了。Martina自己就是尖叫天后， Jordin看出来了，Lakisha却选了错误的路走。要哭喊可以，可是不该选择这首简单的歌 来大哭喊。评审们对这首歌大肆批评是对的，希望可以因为这样让她打道回府啊，留下 Sanjaya就好。 Chris "Timberfake" Richardson sings Mayberry, which Martina McBride doesn't get. Yeah, this vocal may even be worse than Sanjaya's. It's nasaly, painful, and oh so wonderfully VFTW. The judges finally call him out on sucking so bad, and his comeback to Simon is that "nasally is a form of singing." That may be the stupidest thing anyone has ever said on this show, ever. If nasally is a form of singing, so is shitty, which is what we heard tonight from Chris. He's giving Phil Stacy a run for his money as the next worst behind Sanjaya, but neither are really any fun. Boo. Chris「假贾斯叮」Richardson唱Mayberry，连Martina都不知道。这歌声可能连Sanjaya 都输。都是鼻音，很痛苦，噢对噢对而且很「选最烂」。评审们终於说他很烂了，他居然 还向Simon顶嘴说「鼻音是唱法的一种」，这大概是有AI以来最白痴的说法了吧。如果鼻 音真的是一种唱法，那超烂也是一种唱法，就像他这次的表演。他帮Phil Stacy开了一 条生（财）路，大概可以排在Sanjaya前面而已。不过他跟Phil都太无聊了！！下台！！ Melinda "No Neck" Doolittle does well again. As always. So boring. Though Simon does tell her to end the fake surprise moments. Finally! Otherwise, she's too good to really care about and not interesting enough to really make fun of. She did a good job. Melinda「没脖子虏虏咪」Doolittle又唱好了。也跟以往一样，无聊死了。就算Simon 告诉她不要再装惊讶了。终於啊，否则她实在是太好以致於不用去取笑她，而且就算取 笑她也没那麽好玩。她唱的不错。 Blake Lewis closes out the show with When the Stars Go Blue. It's not bad, but I think the performance is falling a little flat. Maybe the stars are going green... or maybe pink? Or maybe the stars are just too busy voting for Sanjaya. There's no safari hat to distract me from Blake's weak vocals this week. But I think this would sound really good recorded, as long as Blake drops the faux accent. Yeah, that's it, this needs to be recorded and not performed live like this. The judges love it, but Simon is a little unimpressed. The stars go... whatever. Blake Lewis唱When the Stars Go Blue来闭幕（按：咦他也没有昵称耶）。是不烂啦， 不过我觉得表演有点软掉了。大概是星星变绿了…还是粉红？或者是星星正忙着投票给 Sanjaya。这礼拜没有探险帽来分散我对Blake没力的声音的注意力（按：上周这位作者 说因为那顶帽子，让Blake看起来小了很多寸。XD）。这首歌的录音室版应该会很不错， 只要Blake不要再假音的话。对，现场怎麽会变这样啊，录音室想必会好一点。评审们 挺喜欢的，不过Simon看起来不太满意。「今晚得星星的是…」，随便啦。 Who's going home? I can never predict Sanjaya, so I'll go with KiKi again, and Sanjaya and Chris could round out the bottom 3. Not that I want Sanjaya in the bottom 3, but he kind of needs to scare us a little bit so people vote harder next week! So let's hope LaKisha goes home and shocks America, because Sanjaya going home is going to make this show BORING with a capital B. 那所以谁会走啊？我才不要把Sanjaya放在我的b3名单里面，我选KiKi，然後可能Sanjaya 和Chris会加满三枚。并不是说我想要Sanjaya在b3里面，而是说他需要被摆在b3来让他 被留久一点！所以我们来祈祷Lakisha得到靴子来吓吓米国人，因为啊，如果Sanjaya走 的话，这个节目就真的是[Bold][Italic]无[/I][/B]聊毙了。 哈哈哈，放这篇来增加自己文章的长度而已，我自己是觉得本周无聊死了。XD 唯二喜欢的其实是Phil和Melinda，其他的各位同学都掉进了无聊的大坑里面。 不过我倒是觉得明天Phil会遭遇不测。╮(╯_╰)╭ --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 140.113.56.189 ※ 编辑: nopeeking 来自: 140.113.56.189 (04/18 16:50)