最近一期的科学杂志有一篇关於学术人生的文章， 看了有点感触，翻译如下： 原文网址： http://science.sciencemag.org/content/353/6294/94 The measure of success 成功的衡量 Melanie L. Blanchette Science 01 Jul 2016: Vol. 353, Issue 6294, pp. 94 DOI: 10.1126/science.353.6294.94 When I was a Ph.D. student, a respected professor at our school had a heart attack in his office and died. As he was whisked away to the ambulance, I numbly watched familiar faces in the department succumb to shock. I didn't know it at the time, but this deeply troubling experience would shape my thinking about how to craft my academic career after I faced my own life-changing illness. While I was a postdoc, a sudden neurological disorder left me unable to walk, took my vision, and held me in the grip of vertigo and crushing migraines. With the help of a small army of health professionals, I began to improve. My brain started compensating for the lost neurons, and my muscles learned to fire again, but I don't know whether I will ever recover completely. This harsh reality check has made me think seriously about why academia promotes unhealthy work habits and how I can pursue the research I love while also taking care of myself. 当我是博班学生的时候，我们学校一个受人景仰的教授心脏病发，在他办公室过世了。 当他被救护车送走时，我面无表情地看着系上无助且受到惊吓的熟悉的脸孔。我当时不 知道这深刻令人不安的经验，会在我面对自身人生转捩的病痛之时，形塑我对於我经营 学术生涯的想法。当我是博士後研究员的时候，突如其来的神经失调导致我无法走路， 夺走我的视力，我陷入了晕眩与头痛欲裂的偏头痛之中。藉由一个小型健康专业团队的 帮助，我开始得到改善。我的大脑开始补偿那些失去的神经元，而我的肌肉也学会了再 次活动，但我不知道我会不会完全康复。这严酷的事实致使我认真地去思考，为什麽学 术界促进不健康的工作习惯，也思考着我如何才能在追求我热爱的研究之时也照顾到自 己。 “I … shed my prejudices about what a successful career looks like.” 「我...摆脱掉我对於什麽是一个成功生涯的偏见。」 Prior to my illness, I worked extremely long hours, sometimes even sleeping in my office if I faced a deadline. I hoped that my hard-won achievements would eventually be judged worthy of tenure. When I returned to work after my illness—despite its severity, I took just 2 months off because of dwindling sick leave, increasing medical bills, and no certainty of ongoing employment—I fell back into the academic achievement trap. I spent all my time working and worrying, and my health began to decline again. 在我生病以前，我工作极度超时，如果截止日期 (按：应是指学术论文的投稿或是研究 计画的申请) 快到了，有时候我甚至睡在我的办公室。我希望我得来不易的成果，最终 将会被评为值得授与我终生教授的职位。尽管我的病很严重，因为病假不足、医疗帐单 的增加、和不确定是否被续聘，我只离开了工作两个月。生完病之後，当我回到工作， 我觉得我陷落到学术成就的牢笼里头。我花费了我所有时间来工作与担忧，而我的健康 又开始走下坡。 But fear of a relapse made me question my actions and, ultimately, the trajectory of my career. I thought about the professor who died. I thought about a friend who left academia because the pace and environment had negative mental and physical effects. I realized that my years in academia had eroded my mental health. I didn't want to hurt myself permanently by pursuing career advancement at all costs, but I didn't want to leave either. So I decided to accept my physical limitations and—an even more diffcult task—shed my prejudices about what a successful career looks like. 但是害怕复发致使我对我的行动与最终的生涯轨迹产生疑问。我想起那个过世的教授 。我想起一个身心因为研究生活步调和环境，受到负面影响而离开学术界的朋友。我 意识到我在学术界这些年残害了我的心理健康。我不想因为追求生涯成就，而付出所 有代价，长年地伤害我自己，但我也不希望离开学术界。所以我决定去接受我的生理 极限，甚至接受一个更难的人生课题，也就是摆脱掉我对於什麽是一个成功生涯的偏 见。 Now, with the support of academic and industry mentors, I am building a nontraditional academic path. I am still a university research fellow, but my research into how mining companies can decrease their environmental impact is funded by industry. For these funders, what matters more than my publication record or the "prestige" of my institution is my creativity, integrity, and ability to produce rigorous science that solves real-world problems. I feel like a pressure valve has been released in my life, easing the worries and long hours and allowing me to better manage my illness. And I find applied research immensely satisfying. Watching nutrient-rich water rejuvenate an acidic mine pit lake, I have seen that my work has value beyond contributing to my h-index. Perhaps most importantly, I was well enough to be there to witness it. 而今，藉由学术界与业界导师的帮助，我正在建立一个非传统的学术途径。我仍然 是一个大学研究人员，但我的研究被业界资助，着眼於矿业公司如何能减少他们对 於环境的冲击。对於这些资助者，我的创造力、正直、与产出严谨科学的能力去解 决真实世界的问题，比起我的发表纪录或是我的研究单位的「威望」要重要得多。 我觉得我人生的压力阀好像被打开了一样，缓解了的焦虑与长工时亦使我能更好的 管理我的病情。并且我发现应用研究能带来极大的满足。看着高营养水 (按：海洋 深层水之类？) 将酸性矿井回复生机，我目睹了我工作的价值超越了我对於我 h 指 数的贡献 (注1)。 My illness made me think about my behavior and health in a way that I hadn't earlier in my career. Now, when I'm tired, I rest—even if I'm in the field. My actions and the direction of my career have surprised some of my colleagues, who sometimes make off-the-cuff comments about my "laziness." These hurt, but I know that I'm doing the right thing for myself. I hope that others will also prioritize their personal well-being, even if it means letting go of deeply held beliefs about what we are "supposed" to do for our careers. 我的发病使我思考我的生活作息与健康，这是在我生涯早期不曾有的。现在当 我累了，我休息，即使我还在工作的兴头之上。我的行动与生涯方向让我一些 同事感到惊讶，他们有时为我的「怠惰」给予即兴的注解。这很伤人，但是我 知道我正在对我自己做对的事情。我希望其他人也将会优先考虑到他们个人的 福祉，即使这意指放弃深入人心关於什麽才是我们「应该」去为我们的生涯付 出的信仰。 According to the numbers, my chances for long-term success in academia don't look great. Women and people with disabilities are underrepresented, and belonging to both groups puts me in a particularly diffcult position. But rather than focusing on what members of underrepresented groups need to do to "adapt" to academic culture, we should be interrogating the system itself, which expects all of us to work excessively at the expense of our physical and mental health. Maybe we need new measures of success. 根据数字 (按：这里应指量化指数)，我在学术界长期成功的机会看起来并不 高。女性与残疾人士被忽视了，身兼属於这个两个团体，这使我处於一个特 别艰难的境地。但是与其聚焦於什麽样的弱势团体需要去「迎合」学术文化 ，我们应该审问这个系统本身，这个期待我们以我们身心健康为代价，全部 投入过度地工作的系统。也许我们需要一个新的成功的衡量标准。 (注1)：h 指数 (h-index)，是一个由物理学家 Jorge E. Hirsch 於 2005 所提 出的一种个人化学术成就指标。有别於影响因子 (Impact factor) 是计算期刊 的影响力，h 指数藉由计算个人学术发表的被引用率，来计算个人学术影响力。 如一个研究人员的 h 指数是 10，表示该员有至少 10 篇论文被引用至少10 次。 虽然没有把作者贡献 (i.e. 作者名排序) 考虑计算进去，h 指数被广泛使用於 学术界，作为个人评量或是升等的指标。Google Scholar 亦采用此指标。 [心得] 学术研究的发展趋势就是量化。科学走到一个资讯爆炸的时代，凡事追求 量化，不再只是局限於科学研究的目标本身。因为科学研究的行为本身也 是一种现象，於是人的行为也可以被量化。量化的结果或许能使得机会公 平、资源分配上公正一些，但过分追求期刊量化指标、个人学术成就指标 ，人生变成了一堆数字，人生的意义与研究的本意也就扭曲掉了。只是现 在学术市场饱和，产能过剩，这样子追求指标筛选以求省事的评量方法短 时间不会有所改变。 成功的人生是什麽？人生的目的是什麽？现在这麽努力，会不会只是在白 费力气追求一个不可能会有的未来？在投入学术研究失去了人生的许多东 西之後，常常会想到这样的问题，虽然我本来就一无所有。这篇文章是这 个不符比例过时工作与低报酬的学术界扭曲的市场下的一个小小缩影，也 是学界与人生中大大的问题。 --

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