文章出处：http://ppt.cc/yf20 (摇滚客ROXYROCKER) 前绿洲乐团吉他手 Noel Gallagher 刚过完他的47岁生日，并且在官方推特上放上他在录 音室弹唱的照片，让乐迷相当期待他的第二张个人专辑。出道至今，Noel Gallagher 一 直话锋犀利，不但左打弟弟 Liam Gallagher，也右打不少乐团和歌手，言词中也不乏许 多笑点。为此 NME 杂志撷录了50个他在各访谈中非常有趣的谈话内容，显示他独特的世 界观及幽默感。 1. On being a roadie: “I look back on those days as some of the best of my life. No photographs, no interviews. Just get up in the morning, make sure the gear works, do the gig and then fucking party.” 论再度巡演:回顾之前那几天真是我人生中最棒的部分。既没有拍摄行程，也没有专访。 一早醒来确定设备都正常後，就是弄场爽翻天的演唱会。 2. On NME:“If you see an NME journalist at any of the gigs (and let’s face it, they’re pretty easy to spot; they don’t stray far from hospitality, wear God-awful clothes – particularly the shoes – got dreadful hair and that kind of “mug me” look about them), give ‘em a clip round the earhole from me and tell ‘em to behave.” 对於 NM E杂志: 如果你看到任何演唱会上的 NME 记者(老实说他们有够好认的！人假掰 又穿着很鸟的衣服，尤其是鞋子，发型也很鸟，一副让人度淡的样子！)帮我劝他们改改 吧! 3, On ageing: “I don’t stay up for two or three days on end, fuckin’ talking shit about aliens, but I’m becoming more of a belligerent old man, you know what I mean? It’s the usual. When you get to a certain age you find that other people’s opinions don’t really matter anymore, and you get kind of uncomfortable with your place in modern life.” 论老年: 我才不会为了一些外星人的屎事熬夜熬个两三天，但我绝对会是支老大炮，你懂 吗?这很稀松平常，到了一定的年纪你就会发现人们的看法已经不太重要，而对於现状你 也就开始觉得不适应了。 4, On frivolous purchases: “I had built for me a customized 1967 Mark II Jaguar convertible at a cost of ￡110,000, and I haven’t got a driving license. It’s useless to me.” 论买奢侈品: 我曾经花了五百多万订制一台 1967 年的 Mark II Jaguar 敞篷车，可是我 没驾照。一点屁用都没有。 5, On ambition: “You want to sell 5,000 limited-edition red vinyl seven-inches, that’s fine. Make music for a closet full of people in Bradford somewhere … but it doesn’t mean anything to anyone. Phil Collins has got to be chased out of the charts, and Wet Wet Wet. It’s the only way to do it, man, to fucking get in there among them and stamp the fuckers out.” 论企图心:你想卖 五千 张限定的 7 寸红胶唱片，没问题，只要做音乐给布拉德福德市( 注:当地古典音乐盛行)的人听就好了! 可是这对任何人一点意义都没有。唯一的方法是要 把菲尔柯林斯和 wet wet wet 合唱团从排行榜上踢走，打进音乐市场把那些混帐消灭啊 ，老兄。 6, On his funeral: “I’m not really bothered ’cause I won’t be there. I don ’t give a shit.” 对於他的葬礼:死了都死了还想什麽? 我才不管那麽多! 7, On his guitar playing: “I’m average at fucking best.” 论他的吉他演奏: 我他妈的是水准之上! 8, On the death of guitar music: “They’ve been saying it for 30 years, ever since The Beatles split up, you know, that rock’n’roll’s dead. When ever there’s a boom there’s always a bit of a lull afterwards. I suppose that avant garde punk rock will come back for a while, and it will all be shit again, and then guitar music will come back.” 对於吉他音乐之死: 自从披头四解散後，他们讲摇滚乐已死已经讲了三十年。有盛就有衰 。我想前卫庞克摇滚也会复苏一阵子，然後又变成一堆垃圾! 接着就是吉他音乐又流行回 来了。 9, On life on tour: “Got thrown out of a taxi this morning. At least I think I did. Hard to tell over here. There was shouting and pointing and then the international hand signal for ‘Get the fuck out of my cab, you western dog!’ ” 关於巡演生活: 今天早上就被赶出计程车了! 是什麽事我就不多说了，反正就是一个国际 性的手势和被嚷嚷着: 他妈的滚出我的车，你这臭老外! 10, On the press: “Well, they’re just waiting for us to make some monumental f—up, and they hope to be around when it happens. We’ve got to get one step ahead of those fellows.” 关於媒体报导: 简单来说就是记者一直等我们弄些经典的屎事出来，然後绕着我们团团转 。而我们总是能给他们所需要的。 11, On regrets: “I wish we’d let ‘(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?’ settle and go away. It was still Number 5 in the Billboard 100 when we started making ‘Be Here Now’. I wish someone who’s paid to be bright and clever had told us to go away and do a bit of living.” 论後悔:我希望我们能让”(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?” 这张专辑留在过去， 就此打住。当我们在做 ‘Be Here Now’ 专辑时，标示榜的百大名单中它还在第五名。 我挺希望有伯乐要我们抛开专辑的成功，继续新的音乐创作。 12, On the possibility of a live album: “We’re going to do a live album when I run out of ideas for songs, or if Liam starts writing Oasis songs (ha ha ha).” 关於现场专辑的可能性: 这会发生在我没有写歌灵感，或是 Liam 开始写绿洲的歌(笑) 13, On Kaiser Chiefs ‘being wankers’: “Well, they are, though. The worst thing about them is that they’re not very good. They play dress-up and sit on top of an apex of meaninglessness. They don’t mean anything to anybody apart from their fucking ugly girlfriends.” 对於 Kaiser Chief 是白痴: 完全就是啊! 最糟糕的莫过於他们真的没那麽厉害。只是装 的很像有那麽一回事，可是又不知道自己在干嘛。崇拜 Kaiser Chiefs 的只有他们的丑 马子。 14, On playing guitar: “It’s a human playing a tree. Three chords on a guitar: now write a song. I only know 11! But I tell you what, God help you when I find the 12th!” 论弹吉他: 浑然天成的事情。用 3 个和弦写成一首歌。我只知道 11 和弦。但我告诉你 ，愿上帝保佑你当我发现 12 和弦的时候 ! 15, On drugs: “If there were gold medals for taking drugs for England I would have won a shitload.” 论嗑药: 如果在英格兰嗑药可以拿金牌，我绝对封王。 16, On the music: “Writing songs, that’s what gets me going. Not the drugs or the sex or the rock’n’roll behaviour, it’s the music.” 对於音乐: 写歌就是我的动力。跟嗑药，性爱或摇滚乐一点关系也没有。就只是音乐。 17, On Jay-Z: “What did I think of Jay-Z doing ‘Wonderwall’? It was pretty funny. But I’m not sure one should be seen in public with a white Stratocaster.” 论 Jay-z : 我觉得 Jay-z 唱 wonderwall 会怎样? 还蛮搞笑的。不过我不太确定一个拿 着白色 Stratocaster 的人该不该像这样在大庭广众下抛头露脸的。 18, On Keane: “I feel sorry for Keane. No matter how hard they try they’ll always be squares. Even if one of them started injecting heroin into onto his cock people would go ‘Yeah but your dad was a vicar, good night’.” 对於 Keane : 我对於 Keane 感到遗憾。不管他们再怎麽做都还是一样。纵使他们里面有 人嗑药，大家还是会说「是喔? 不过你爸是牧师耶! 好了，洗洗早点睡吧!」 19, On moshpits: “It seems like you’ve got these gigs where it’ll be the front three rows of people in this big massive hole but there’s geezers running around, punching each other…singing like Live Forever’…totally missing the point.” 关於演唱会乐迷冲撞文化: 演唱会上前三排的人在人群围成的大窟窿里，唱着 Live Forever 又一边跑来跑去、东撞西撞的话，真的是完全搞错看演唱会的重点。 20, On brotherly relations: “I like to think I keep it real. Liam keeps it surreal, and somewhere between the two we get on all right.” 论兄弟关系: 我看待事情是实际面的。Liam是看成超现实的。有时候我们在当中反而取得 平衡。 21, On the worst possible psychological torture: “Being sat beside Liam on a 15-hour flight. It happened just the once, going to Japan or somewhere. It’s just horrible.” 关於最崩溃的时候: 在飞机上坐 Liam 旁边坐了 15 个小时，不知道是去日本还是哪里， 真要我老命。 22, On global warming: “You can’t blame rock stars for global warming when the Chinese, the Indians and the Americans have been pumping out shit into the atmosphere for the last 100 years.” 论全球暖化: 你不能在中国人，印度人和美国人已经排废气排了将近 100 年的时候，把 这屎盆子扣在摇滚歌手的头上。 23, On free downloads: “I’m not giving my records away for free. If nobody fuckin’ buys them then… They’re not going out for free.” 关於免费下载: 我的专辑没有免费这件事。如果没人买就…..还是不会免费。 24, On Liam: “He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.” 论弟弟 Liam : 他就是个集粗鲁，傲慢，具威胁性和懒惰於一身的人。而且绝对是你见过 最暴躁的人。完全就是个无路用的家伙。 25, On the Beckhams: “Why is Posh Beckham writing a fucking book of her memoirs? she can’t even chew chewing gum and walk in a fucking straight line at the same time, let alone write a book.” 对於贝克汉一家: 那个高贵辣妹出什麽鬼回忆录啊?她连边吃口香糖边走直线都有问题了 ，还出书咧! 图与原文均来自NME 翻译by Ami.W Noel真的很真性情，尤其是21和24充分展现他对弟弟的爱XD --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc), 来自: 111.248.227.179 ※ 文章网址: http://webptt.com/cn.aspx?n=bbs/Oasis/M.1402461242.A.C55.html