Capitol Punishment posted by Chris Needham http://dcbb.blogspot.com/ When not busily designing the uber-offensive metric (because Lord knows we don't have enough and 98% accuracy isn't enough), I'm honing my projection skills. Here, in my top-secret laboratories, I've designed a fail-proof projection system that has as much precision as any of those abacus-twirling nutballs. I've got me a protractor, a link to baseball-reference.com, and a bowl of raisin bran for strength. That's all I need, damnit. Here's the debut of the newest projection system: Chris's Random-Ass Projections, CRAP. Catcher, Brian "Officer" Schneider, Age 28, LHB Year Ave. OBP. Slg. 2004 .257 .325 .399 2003 .230 .309 .394 2002 .275 .339 .459 2005 .248 .319 .403; 15 HRs First Base, Nick "The Walking Stick" Johnson, Age 26, LHB Year Ave. OBP. Slg. 2004 .251 .359 .398 2003 .284 .422 .472 2002 .243 .347 .402 2005 .268 .384 .437; 145 games played. Second Base, Jose "Insert Nickname Here" Vidro, Age 30, BB Year Ave. OBP. Slg. 2004 .294 .367 .454 2003 .310 .397 .470 2002 .315 .378 .490 2005 .286 .375 .468; misses 25 games with injury Third Base, Vinny "Senor Statesman" Castilla, Age Cretaceous/37, RHB Year Ave. OBP. Slg. 2004 .271 .332 .535 2003 .277 .310 .461 2002 .232 .268 .348!! 2005 .232 .291 .382; 24 HRs 65 RBI Shortstop, Cristian "There's No H In Groundout" Guzman, Age 27, BB Year Ave. OBP. Slg. 2004 .274 .309 .384 2003 .268 .311 .365 2002 .273 .292 .385 2005 .278 .318 .394; IBBs help; SB-CS=4 Left Field, Brad "Kentucky Masher" Wilkerson, Age 28, LHB Year Ave. OBP. Slg. 2004 .255 .374 .498 2003 .268 .380 .464 2002 .266 .370 .469 2005 .271 .391 .479; 138Ks, 124 BBs Center Field, Ryan "Soul Patch" Church, Age 26, LHB Year Ave. OBP. Slg. 2004 .175 .257 .238 2005 .256 .311 .417; 15 HRs Right Field, Jose Guillen, "The Barbarian", Age 29, RHB Year Ave. OBP. Slg. 2004 .294 .352 .497 2003 .311 .359 .569 2002 .238 .287 .367!! 2005 .284 .352 .503; 26 HRs, 115 RBI --

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