so much has happened ever since this year began... I don't even know how to express myself in mandarin... millions upon billions of questions brew inside my head... the who what... the when how... the why not... the yes no... the that so... answers kept only beyond the infinity to which i cannot approach... time presses on, forcing me to grow up... to be more mature... to become what others want me to be... situations arise, forcing me to grow up... to be more responsible... to do what others require me to do... conflicts draw near, forcing me to grow up... to be more independant... to see what others don't want me to see... as I ask myself, as I ask others, as others and teachers ask others... what is the purpose of life... is there an answer which I am truly satisfied? I've heard the endless repetative meanings which people label as their purpose in life... but not mine... something lacks, and i don't know what... i cannot comprehend... nor do I dare, for if I do, I do not know what else I would know or what else I would ask myself... I live to be happy, yet what is happiness without pain and sadness? if all is relative, then why do we live to experience both? Is life truly important in this race to carry on our existence? we are but a second of living in this eternal line of time... why the concern of the millisecond... the micro, the nano seconds... yet... can there be no concerns? I want to be left alone, yet I do not wish to be alone... I care not what others think, yet I do not wish they'd think as they do... I want to do what is right, yet the more right i get the more wrong there is... I do not wish to be angered, but so much can anger me... I do not wish to be bothered, yet... I find a need to be bothered... this is me... the way i am... so who am I? I am Ben, but who am I? who are you? you are you, but who are you? what happened? how did it happen? what do you, what do I feel? what is this? what did I just post? I don't know... I am FoBenja... and I am human... like you, like me, like all... 以上是本人脑海中的想法... 你们不懂没关系... 因为我也不是完全了解... 可能感冒真的烧到脑子了... 阿哈哈哈哈哈哈, 爽! --

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