作者etfofts (门掩桂花香)
看板nhctc-95ee-2
标题[转录]R: 转贴 亚拉冈的秘密日记
时间Mon Dec 30 14:45:26 2002
※ [本文转录自 joke 看板]
作者: ShadowElf (子於是日哭)
标题: [转录]山姆的秘密日记
时间: Mon Dec 30 00:35:07 2002
※ [本文转录自 ShadowElf 信箱]
作者:
[email protected]
标题: 山姆的秘密日记
时间: Mon Dec 30 00:34:33 2002
作者: Atu (子於是日哭) 看板: Atu
标题: 山姆的秘密日记
时间: Sun Dec 29 22:06:22 2002
THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF SAMWISE GAMGEE
Day One:
Frodo stabbed by Morgul blade. Oh no! Pippin cried.
Told Pippin it would be all right as Mr. Frodo far too hot to die.
Did I say that out loud?
第一天：
胡萝卜被冥界之刃刺中了。
皮平大哭：「噢！不！」。
我当诉他其实这没什麽关系，因为胡萝卜太热门，太受欢迎了，所以不会死。
噢，我有说得很大声吗？
Day Three:
Have followed Mr. Frodo to Rivendell where Elves will heal him.
Gandalf told me to help poor unconscious Mr. Frodo get out of dirty clothes.
So took clothes off him and gave him a bath. And another one.
Then gave him another bath.
Gandalf came and told me six baths was quite enough, Samwise Gamgee.
Poncy old git probably hasn't taken a bath since the Second Age.
第三天：
我跟着胡萝卜到了 Rivendell ，那里的精灵会医治他。
乾豆腐叫我帮昏迷不醒的胡萝卜脱掉脏衣服。
所以我帮他把脏衣服脱掉，然後帮他洗个澡，然後再帮他洗个澡，然後再帮他澡个澡。
乾豆腐来跟我说：「一天洗六次澡很够了，山姆。」
那个老白痴大概第二纪就没洗过澡了吧？
Day Four:
Wonder if it is time for Mr. Frodo to have another bath yet.
第四天：
我在想是不是又到了该帮胡萝卜洗澡的时间了。
Day Five:
Elf bubble bath v. colorful and pretty.
Gandalf no fun at all.
*sulk*
第四天：
精灵的泡泡澡很漂亮也很多彩多姿。
乾豆腐一点也不好玩。
真令人生气！
Day Six:
Mr. Frodo awake!
Is doing well although also seems concerned as to
why his fingers are all wrinkled.
Decided not to tell him about all the baths.
第六天：
胡萝卜醒了！！
他看来还不错，不过他似乎在想为什麽他的手指都皱皱的。
我决定还是不要告诉他我帮他洗那些澡的事好了。
Day Seven:
Snuck into Council of Elrond. Frodo offered to take Ring to Mordor.
Mr. Frodo is so brave, handsome, tall and wonderful!
Okay, so possibly isn't all that tall.
第七天：
偷溜去听爱隆王的会议。胡萝卜答应要带戒指去摩多。
他真是一个勇敢、英俊、高大的好人啊！
好啦好啦，也许没麽那高大就是了啦。
Day Eight:
Off to Mordor. Other members of Fellowship v. dodgy if you ask me.
Especially Boromir.
"Teaching Merry and Pippin how to sword-fight" my Aunt Lobelia.
Obviously pervy hobbit-fancier who likes to roll around with
small men in shorts.
第八天：
要到摩多去了。如果你问我的感想的话，我会说其它的团员全都支支吾吾的。
尤其是罗密。
「教教梅里跟皮平怎麽用剑吧」Lobelia叔叔说。
很明显的他是个喜欢跟小矮人滚来滚去的哈比控。
Day Nine:
Aragorn just as pervy as Boromir. Obviously fancies Mr. Frodo.
Will kill him if he tries anything.
亚拉冈就跟波罗密一样变态。很明显的他被胡萝卜刹到了。
如果他敢有什麽动作的话，我就会杀了他！
Day Ten:
V. dark in Mines of Moria.
Used flat edge of sword to whack Aragorn every time
he tried to pinch Mr. Frodo in the dark.
Gandalf fell into bottomless pit.
Mr. Frodo said something later about pointy wizard hat,
but did not understand it as am innocent young hobbit
from Shire not versed in wordly ways.
Pippin says Legolas is shagging Gimli.
Ick.
第十天：
矿坑里非常的暗。
每当亚拉冈想偷偷的捏胡萝卜，我就用剑的钝面打他。
乾豆腐掉到一个无底洞去了。
之後胡萝卜说了一些有关尖顶巫师帽的故事。
但身为一个天真的年轻哈比人，我没办法从文字里完全了解这件事。
皮平说热拉屎把金雳当性幻想对象。
真恶心！
Day Fifteen:
Lothlorien v. pretty.
Blonde elf lady absolutely hitting on poor Mr. Frodo left, right and center.
Pippin agrees.
Told Pippin height difference would make relationship impossible.
Pippin said Mr. Frodo could stand on stilts.
Hate Pippin.
第十五天：
罗斯洛立安真的是很漂亮。
那个金发的精灵绝对有摸胡萝卜的左边、右边、跟中间。
皮平也同意我的猜测。
我告诉皮平身高的差异太大了，会让他们的关系变得不可能成功。
但是皮平说胡萝卜会克服这个问题的。
我真讨厌皮平！
Day Twenty-Two:
Leaving Lothlorien. Bye-bye grabby elf lady.
Not sure where going exactly, but is obviously somewhere water-related,
as have been given boats.
Do not care really as long as get to share boat with Mr. Frodo.
第二十一天：
告别了罗斯洛立安。再见了，贪得无婪的女精灵。
我不是很确定要去哪里，不过很明显的一定是跟水有关的地方。
因为有人给了我们船。
其实我也没有很在乎，只要我跟胡萝卜同船就可以了。
Day Twenty-Three:
Boromir finally acted on pent-up lust for Mr. Frodo.
Got shot down of course (hurrah!) but not before made spectacle of himself.
Claims was trying to take Ring so as to rule world and bring down evil,
but we all know that's a big fib don't we.
第二十三天：
波罗密终於对胡萝卜做出了色情的暴行。
他当然也被阻止了，但是是在他为自己辨护之後了。
他说他试着夺取戒指因为他想统治世界，并打击邪恶。
但是我们都知道那是个不重要的谎言，而且没办法愚弄我们。
Day Twenty-Four:
Boromir killed by orcs. Knew orcs good for something.
Frodo off to Mordor.
Taking me along, hurrah! Mr. Frodo needs cheering up as seems
inexplicably sorry to say goodbye to Gimli,
as well as is depressed and claims is now sure
he will die a virgin in the barren wastelands of the Dark Lord's realm.
We will see about that.
第二十四天：
波罗密被半兽人给挂掉了。我总算知道半兽人还有点用处。
胡萝卜决定去摩多了。
带我一起走啊啊！胡萝卜需要有人给他安慰，因为他似乎有着无法理解的遗憾，尤其
当他跟金雳说再见的时候。
而且他很沮丧，因为他确定当他死在暗黑主宰的领域的时候，他还会是个处男。
我们走着瞧吧！（我看是指死的时候是不是处男这件事吧？）
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