反正不管再怎麽吵, Stackhouse禁赛都已成定局 还是看个温馨一点的外电吧 http://0rz.net/861wz Shaqdaddy a big kid 侠客把拔是个大孩子 Today is Father's Day and, for my gift, I'm begging my kids not to read this column. I don't want them to know Shaquille O'Neal rides roller coasters with his children for hours straight. I don't want them to hear he has taken them to the zoo a dozen times this basketball season. 今天是父亲节，对我(Dave Hyde)来说最好的礼物就是，请我的小孩不要读这篇文章， 因为我不想被他们知道侠客会陪他的小孩连续玩一个小时的云霄飞车。我不想被他们知 道光是这个球季侠客就带他的孩子到动物园玩了十几次。 I certainly don't want them to read how during these NBA Finals, with all the work and stress they bring, the Heat center still walks through his front door and shouts: "Let's play Dog-man!" 我真的不想让他们知道即是在总冠军赛期间，背负一大堆工作与压力的侠客仍然在走进 家门时叫道：”我们来玩狗人。” Dog-man? “狗人?” "It's the newest game he made up," says his wife, Shaunie. “那是他最新发明的游戏。”侠客的老婆Shaunie解释 The rules of engagement are simple: Dad runs around the house like a crazed dog. He barks. He growls. Sometimes he drops to all fours and charges. Meanwhile, his children run from him. Well, wouldn't you? 游戏规则很简单：做老爸的负责像只疯狗一样在屋里乱跑，一边又吠又吼一边扑向孩 子们，小孩子就赶快逃跑。嗯，换作是你也会想逃吧? "Then there's what they call, `Scary Dogman,'" Shaunie said. "That's played at night. He puts on this black, leather coat and goes running through the house chasing the kids in the dark. After 10 minutes, he's one big ball of sweat." “他们都叫他恐怖狗人” Shaunie说：”晚上在玩的时候，他就会穿上黑色的皮外套， 在黑暗中追着孩子满屋跑。才十分钟，他就玩得满身大汗了。” I want to be a good father. But how do you compare to that? Or O'Neal chaperoning his 9-year-old's school class on a Parrott Jungle field trip and ending up leading the students around like the Pied Piper? 虽然我也想成为一个好父亲，但是又怎麽有办法做到像侠客那样? 像他一样陪9岁大的 孩子一起参加学校的校外教学，最後还像吹笛手一样带领队伍前进。 Do you know he plays hide-and-seek at home and regularly confounds everyone by remaining hidden until Olly olly oxen free? I mean, where does 7 feet 1 and 325 pounds go to hide? Miramar? 你知道他不但在家玩躲猫猫，而且还让所有人直到游戏结束还找不到人吗?我是说，一 个七尺一寸，325磅的人要躲在哪里才能让人找不到?美丽华摩天轮上面吗? Even on Friday's off-day from the Finals, O'Neal took five of his six children to the new Garfield movie. Laughed harder than any of them, too. 即使是星期五总冠军赛的空档，侠客还是带他六个小孩其中五个去看新的加菲猫电影， 而且笑得比谁都大声。 The sixth child, daughter Me'arah Sanaa, was born six weeks ago. O'Neal returned from the Chicago series to be with Shaunie during the birth. Me'arah gets the same treatment as all the O'Neal babies, too. 第六个小孩，Me'arah Sanaa小妹妹六个星期前才刚诞生。侠客从对公牛的系列赛中赶 回去陪伴Shaunie生产。Me'arah得到了跟其他所有小孩一样的待遇。 Dad talks baby talk to her. He also turns into the world's largest nursery-rhyme singer -- well, sort of. He only knows the main words, according to Shaunie, so he'll repeat: "Twinkle, twinkle, little star ... twinkle, twinkle, little star. Twinkle, twinkle ... " 侠克把拔用宝宝的声音跟她说话。并且化身成世界上最大只的童谣歌手。他只从Shaunie 那里学到几句歌词，但仍不断的哼着：”一闪一闪亮晶晶…一闪一闪亮晶晶…一闪一 闪…”。 He doesn't change diapers. “不过他倒没有帮小孩换尿布” "His hands are so big he's really horrified that he's going to hurt her somehow," he said. “他的手太大了，怕一个不小心会伤到小宝宝”，他说。 Why didn't I think of that one? 我当初怎麽没想到这个藉口? O'Neal was raised the right way by a tough-love disciplinarian in stepfather Phil "Sarge" Harrison. Sarge gave away the young O'Neal's trophies to teach humility. He made O'Neal copy pages from the dictionary as punishment. On occasion, he had his son crouch against a wall, knees bent, thighs parallel to the floor, holding an encyclopedia in outstretched arms. 大欧是在继父”中士” Phil Harrison严格的管教下长大的。中士教导大欧谦卑作为 礼物。他曾处罚大欧抄写字典，还罚过他手上捧着百科全书半蹲，。 "He teaches his children a different way, more to his personality," Harrison says. “他采用了不同的方法来教导孩子，这更接近他的个性。” Harrison说。 Translation: He's a softie. Ask Shaunie, who's the family disciplinarian. If she tells the kids no, they can't have candy before bed, she knows her husband secretly will slip them some chocolate when she's not looking. "He doesn't know I know, but I do," she says. 他是个软心肠的人。问问Shaunie谁才是家里的老大。如果他告诉孩子们睡觉前不准吃 糖果，她老公就会趁她不注意的时候偷塞巧克力给他们。”他还以为我都不知道。” 她说。 There are three parental commandments in the O'Neal household. 大欧家里有三条父母当遵守的诫命： 1. Thou shalt eat dinner as a family whenever possible. 1. 汝应尽可能回家吃晚餐。 2. Thou shalt tuck each child into bed every night. 2. 汝应每晚抱孩子上床睡觉。 3. Thou shalt not bring work home. 3. 汝不可把工作的事情带回家。 The third one was broken after Game 2 of these NBA Finals. O'Neal scored five points. He came home angry. And quiet. "Everyone knew to leave him alone," Shaunie says. "But he'd call the children over and talk to them about how they were and what they were up to." 第三条戒命在总冠军赛第二战的时候被违反了。大欧那天只得到5分。他回到家的时候 非常生气。并且异常安静。”大家都知道要离他远一点，” Shaunie说：”但他还是 把孩子们叫来，问他们最近如何以及最近在做什麽。” Father's Day can be a day tough in a sports world where some athletes meet their children only at court dates. That's why it's so refreshing to hear a star like O'Neal say: "When my kids grow up, I want them to always know I tried to be the best father I could." 父亲节在体育界可能会是个不好过的一天。在个圈子里有的运动员只会在球场上见到 他们的孩子。这就是为什麽像侠客这样的篮球巨星说出”我希望孩子们长大以後，能够 了解我只想成为一个最棒的父亲。”的话，是多麽难得的事情。 Speaking of which, there is a sliver of fatherhood in which O'Neal could improve: Helping with homework. 然而如果侠客想进一步成为模范父亲界的巨星，他还是有些地方可以改善，像是在帮助 孩子们的课业上。 "I think English is his worst subject," Shaunie said. "As much as he likes to give you guys quotes, he's not really much at trying to put the punctuation in the right spot." “我想英文应该是他最烂的科目吧，” Shaunie说：“虽然他常常告诉记者一些他的 名言，但其实他真的不太擅长把标点符号放在正确的位置上。” Ha. I mean: Ha! Or is it: Ha? “哈。”我是说”哈!” 或是：”蛤?” Maybe the Big Grammarian can do better on that, too. 也许这位大文豪可以再表现得更好一点。 --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 59.120.15.117 ※ 编辑: eowa 来自: 59.120.15.117 (06/18 20:10)