Shaco专访 (有强者要翻译吗) ---- The Eye Inside Jesters! Jokes! Jabbings! Ram Steed As promised, I, Ram Steed, have braved the very depths of insanity, the darkest places of the League of Legends, to bring you an exclusive interview with the mysterious and deadly Shaco, the world's first fully-functioning homicidal comic. Though the idea has chilled me to the very bone, I have searched down many dark alleys to finally find the Demon Jester and convince him to answer the questions that burn in your very souls! And he agreed. Ten questions. No more, no less. I go now, hoping that this will be the illuminating experience we all wish… and not my obituary. Wish me luck. ---- 10 Questions with Shaco Ram: “Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Shaco. It's an honor.” Shaco: [Sits quietly. Grins. Cleans fingernails with sharp-looking stiletto.] Ram: “ Okay, then. Let's start with something everyone wants to know. Where did you come from?” Shaco: “I am not from this world. Your summoners brought me forth from a world of shadows, a place that makes your Runeterra look like a child's birthday party. Isn't that one of the stories? Or perhaps I am simply an assassin gone wrong, wandering Runeterra and perpetrating my Killing Joke on those who are most assured to get the punchline. That is another exciting tale of my origins.” [Shaco carves one hash into the wooden table with his stiletto.] Ram: “There are those who believe you to be the manifestation of humanity's dark urges. In the Runeterra of today, that is not out of the question. What do you have to say to that?” Shaco: “Would you like me to be? Would that make you feel better about the part of you that thrills at the lives I end? [pause] Like a magician, I never reveal my secrets.” [Shaco carves another hash into the wooden table with his stiletto.] Ram: “Could you tell us what your childhood was like?” Shaco: “I'm still a child. On the inside. Can't you tell? I love to play.” Ram: “Your name is an anagram of chaos. Is that intentional?” Shaco: “A Shaco by any other name would still spill blood. Intentional or not, it fits, no?” [Shaco carves a third and fourth hash into the wooden table with his stiletto.] Ram: “There are some people who regard you as a role-model. What do you think of this?” Shaco: “I don't like competition.” [A fifth hash is carved.] Ram: “You seem to have developed a following with the ladies. How has that changed your life?” Shaco: “I'm an equal opportunity killer. You could say I go both ways.” [Shaco carves a sixth hash into the wooden table with his stiletto.] Ram: “You definitely have your very own finely crafted sense of humor. What's your favorite joke these days?” Shaco: “What do people and books have in common? Wherever they're opened, they're red.” [Shaco chuckles and carves a seventh hash.] Ram: “Your enigmatic nature is part of your appeal for many people. However, do you have one great adventure you could share?” Shaco: “Once upon a time, there was a fancy noble in the city-state of Noxus. He was a wretched man, the kind of person that had done nearly ever underhanded thing of which one can think. However, he was an indulgent husband and father. He was someone who would appreciate the punchline, so it was obvious that he needed my Killing Joke. First, I tickled his wife's funny bone. She split open with laughter. Then, I took his oldest son for a romp on the merry-go-round. He loved it so much he never wanted to leave. Then, I delivered jack-in-the-boxes as presents to his youngest daughter and infant son. 'Pop!' went the Shaco, fondly finding his way deep into their hearts. The noble himself? No joy for him. However, certainly did get the punchline.” Ram: “What happened to him?” Shaco: “He tried to play on a rope swing using his own neck.” [The Demon Jester breaks out into maniacal laughter. It takes him a few minutes to calm down. Ram shifts uncomfortably.] Shaco: “Two left. Better make them good.” Ram: “The legal gray areas that surround the League of Legends have given you the ability to function openly, and even become a celebrity. However, you are wanted for murder by the authorities in nearly every city-state in Valoran. How do you reconcile the two seemingly at odds lifestyles?” Shaco: [A menace grows in his eyes.] “I don't like the authorities and I don't think I like that question.” [Ram barely keeps himself in his chair.] Ram: “Umm… okay… moving on. Last question, then. There are claims that a high-ranking member of the League has established a relationship with you and that you've been seen together on a number of occasions. Can you confirm or deny this?” [Shaco stares. He stands up slowly, stiletto in hand.] Shaco: “Why so serious?” Note from the Editor: Ram Steed was found two blocks from where he conducted this interview. He had been stabbed multiple times, the stiletto sticking out of his chest with a note that read, “An eye inside Ram Steed.” He was immediately rushed to the nearest healer. Given the severity of his wounds, he has not yet regained consciousness and indeed may not. Our thoughts are with him. We will keep you apprised of his condition. In the mean time, please send any well wishes to the usual place and we will make sure that his friends and family receive them. --

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