※ [本文转录自 896011XX 看板] 作者: ninikelly (彩虹下的约定~) 看板: 896011XX 标题: [转录][转录]魔王须知(初篇) 时间: Sat Nov 17 14:19:42 2001 ※ [本文转录自 FJU-ACC89a 看板] 作者: KEINO (Phoenix Link) 看板: FJU-ACC89a 标题: [转录]魔王须知(初篇) 时间: Tue Sep 11 10:39:51 2001 基本上,看完这一篇的人应该对原作者致上十二万分的敬意 原则上,有感而发的人请每天三次朗诵本篇文章 P.S:本篇文章可对应於所有动漫画,影集,PC or TV game 作者: redcomet (红色彗星) 看板: TRPG 标题: GOOD ADVICE FOR EVIL OVERLORDS 时间: Mon Jun 5 23:43:03 2000 魔王须知 Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, if I ever happen to become an Evil Overlord: 魔王似乎是个不错的职业选择. 待遇佳, 加给多而且工作时间可以自由调整. 但是在各式书籍或电影里面, 魔王们在结局总是会被打败或毁灭. 我发现无论是野蛮人领袖, 背道巫师, 疯狂科学家, 或是异形入侵者, 他们每次 都犯下同样的基本错误, 因此, 如果我有幸成为魔王的一分子, 我将会... 1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. 我的军团将会配备耐热塑胶 "透明" 面罩头盔, 而不是遮住面孔的头盔. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 我所属的建筑物通风孔将会小到没有任何人爬的进去. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 被我篡夺王位的兄弟, 我将会把他杀了, 而不是囚禁在地牢中某个被遗忘的角落. 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 用枪毙来处决我的敌人, 永远不会便宜了他. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. 对於提供我力量来源的神器, 我不会将它放置在不朽巨龙所守护, 火焰之河所围绕 的绝望山脉. 我会放在我的保险箱里面, 对於我唯一害怕的东西, 处理方式亦同. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicatment before killing them. 当我的敌人陷入困境, 在我杀了他们之前, 我不会幸灾乐祸. 7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, ``Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?'' My reply will be, ``No, just sensible.'' 当叛军领袖用挑衅的语气要求跟我单挑: "如果没有部下帮忙, 你该不会害怕了吧?" 我会回答: "不, 我只是很理智." 8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, ``Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?'' I'll say, ``No.'' and shoot him. 当我抓到敌人而他对我说: "等一下,在你杀我以前,你可以告诉我这是甚麽 东西/为了甚麽吗?" 我会回答: "不" 然後毙了他. . After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 当我绑架了美丽的公主, 我会毫不声张的立刻举办私下的结婚仪式,而不是在我 邪恶计划的最後阶段, 花三个礼拜的时间准备耀眼灿烂的婚礼. 10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled ``Danger: Do Not Push''. The big red button marked ``Do Not Push'' will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such. 我绝不会制作自爆系统, 除非真的有需要. 如果非作不可, 启动自爆装置的开关也绝 对不会是一个标注"危险, 请勿碰触"的大大红色按钮. 按下标注"危险,请勿碰触"的大大 红色按钮只会触发陷阱, 把那个笨蛋毙了. 开/关的标示也不会很清楚的标明. 11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself. 我不会命令我最信任的副官杀掉命中注定毁灭我的婴儿, 我会自己动手. 12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 我不会在我最机密的指挥室审问我的敌人, 外面随便那一家小旅馆都可以. -- ┌┌┌┌ Origin: 小鱼的紫色花园 <fpg.twbbs.org> 140.112.200.214 ───┐┐┐┐ └└└└ From : h8.s123.ts32.hinet.net ───────────────┘┘┘┘-- ┌┌┌┌ Origin: 小鱼的紫色花园 <fpg.twbbs.org> 140.112.200.214 ───┐┐┐┐ └└└└ From : 186.c210-85-53.ethome.net.tw ────────────┘┘┘┘-- ┌┌┌┌ Origin: 小鱼的紫色花园 <fpg.twbbs.org> 140.112.200.214 ───┐┐┐┐ 标题: [转录][转录][转录]魔王须知(初篇) 时间: Sun Nov 18 09:47:18 2001 ※ [本文转录自 896011XX 看板] 作者: ninikelly (彩虹下的约定~) 看板: 896011XX 标题: [转录][转录]魔王须知(初篇) 时间: Sat Nov 17 14:19:42 2001 ※ [本文转录自 FJU-ACC89a 看板] 作者: KEINO (Phoenix Link) 看板: FJU-ACC89a 标题: [转录]魔王须知(初篇) 时间: Tue Sep 11 10:39:51 2001 基本上,看完这一篇的人应该对原作者致上十二万分的敬意 原则上,有感而发的人请每天三次朗诵本篇文章 P.S:本篇文章可对应於所有动漫画,影集,PC or TV game 作者: redcomet (红色彗星) 看板: TRPG 标题: GOOD ADVICE FOR EVIL OVERLORDS 时间: Mon Jun 5 23:43:03 2000 魔王须知 Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, if I ever happen to become an Evil Overlord: 魔王似乎是个不错的职业选择. 待遇佳, 加给多而且工作时间可以自由调整. 但是在各式书籍或电影里面, 魔王们在结局总是会被打败或毁灭. 我发现无论是野蛮人领袖, 背道巫师, 疯狂科学家, 或是异形入侵者, 他们每次 都犯下同样的基本错误, 因此, 如果我有幸成为魔王的一分子, 我将会... 1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. 我的军团将会配备耐热塑胶 "透明" 面罩头盔, 而不是遮住面孔的头盔. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 我所属的建筑物通风孔将会小到没有任何人爬的进去. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 被我篡夺王位的兄弟, 我将会把他杀了, 而不是囚禁在地牢中某个被遗忘的角落. 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 用枪毙来处决我的敌人, 永远不会便宜了他. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. 对於提供我力量来源的神器, 我不会将它放置在不朽巨龙所守护, 火焰之河所围绕 的绝望山脉. 我会放在我的保险箱里面, 对於我唯一害怕的东西, 处理方式亦同. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicatment before killing them. 当我的敌人陷入困境, 在我杀了他们之前, 我不会幸灾乐祸. 7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, ``Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?'' My reply will be, ``No, just sensible.'' 当叛军领袖用挑衅的语气要求跟我单挑: "如果没有部下帮忙, 你该不会害怕了吧?" 我会回答: "不, 我只是很理智." 8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, ``Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?'' I'll say, ``No.'' and shoot him. 当我抓到敌人而他对我说: "等一下,在你杀我以前,你可以告诉我这是甚麽 东西/为了甚麽吗?" 我会回答: "不" 然後毙了他. . After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 当我绑架了美丽的公主, 我会毫不声张的立刻举办私下的结婚仪式,而不是在我 邪恶计划的最後阶段, 花三个礼拜的时间准备耀眼灿烂的婚礼. 10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled ``Danger: Do Not Push''. The big red button marked ``Do Not Push'' will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such. 我绝不会制作自爆系统, 除非真的有需要. 如果非作不可, 启动自爆装置的开关也绝 对不会是一个标注"危险, 请勿碰触"的大大红色按钮. 按下标注"危险,请勿碰触"的大大 红色按钮只会触发陷阱, 把那个笨蛋毙了. 开/关的标示也不会很清楚的标明. 11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself. 我不会命令我最信任的副官杀掉命中注定毁灭我的婴儿, 我会自己动手. 12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 我不会在我最机密的指挥室审问我的敌人, 外面随便那一家小旅馆都可以. -- ┌┌┌┌ Origin: 小鱼的紫色花园 <fpg.twbbs.org> 140.112.200.214 ───┐┐┐┐ └└└└ From : h8.s123.ts32.hinet.net ───────────────┘┘┘┘-- ┌┌┌┌ Origin: 小鱼的紫色花园 <fpg.twbbs.org> 140.112.200.214 ───┐┐┐┐ └└└└ From : 186.c210-85-53.ethome.net.tw ────────────┘┘┘┘-- ┌┌┌┌ Origin: 小鱼的紫色花园 <fpg.twbbs.org> 140.112.200.214 ───┐┐┐┐