故事五 We would go to Disneyland. We both loved rollercoasters. Sometimes we would go on them twenty times in a row. 我们会去迪斯奈 我们都很爱云霄飞车 会连玩20几次 (老大你真神人) Often, Michael would wear disguises. Once, he was a sheikh and I was his translator. We would go into a place called Carnation Restaurant in Disneyland where they served great tuna salad and sandwiches. Michael was eating organic food only, although, at that time, he had a rather strange idea of what organic was. We would go to KFC, Michael reckoned if you took off the skin it became organic. 通常麦可会乔装 有一次他扮一个阿拉伯长老 我扮成他的翻译我们去了狄斯奈里的餐厅 有很好的鲔鱼和三明治当时麦可只吃有机食物 虽然他对有机食物的定义很奇怪 我们会去 KFC 他会认为你把皮撕了就变有机了 Anyhow, at Carnation on this particular day, there were two elderly women and a gentleman in their eighties from Croydon. We started talking in our mock Arabic to each other. 总之 某天我们去了 有两个年老的女人和一个男人 都八十多岁了 我们开始用自己掰的 阿拉伯语谈话 When the two ladies looked over, I turned to one of them and explained, “The Sheikh Majolini wanted me to tell you that you are a beautiful woman and so is your friend,” I said. 当那两个女人看过来时 我跟他们解释说 长老要我跟你们说 你们两位很美丽 These two ladies probably hadn’t been paid a compliment like that in the last couple of decades so they started smiling. We then got talking. They asked what the Sheikh was doing here and I said he had just got divorced from his 97th wife and was now on his 154th child. 那两个女人大概几十年没被人这样称赞过了 所以他们笑了 我们聊起天来 他们为说 长老在这里干嘛 我说他刚跟他第97任妻子离婚 他现在有154个小孩 “He has 154 children?” they asked, looking shocked. 他们惊讶的说154个小孩? “That he knows of,” I said. “He has had 97 wives…” and I started naming them, “Jada, Jami, Shakira, Vera…” with Michael saying them in mock Arabic. 我说那只是他知道的 他有97个老婆 Jada, Jami.....然後麦可跟他们乱掰阿拉伯语 There was nothing malacious in it. In fact, Michael picked up their bill. He was like that, always pulling practical jokes on people. 我们不是有恶意的 事实上麦可帮他们付了帐单 他就是很喜欢对别人恶作剧 Sometimes though, the joke would be on us. The funniest thing that ever happened to us was when we went for pancakes one night. It was after 1am and our regular haunt, Dupars, was closed, so we went to another pancake house that we knew on Ventura Boulevard. There was only one couple in there; normally it held 150 people. 不过有时就是我们闹笑话了 最好笑的一次是有一天晚上我们要去吃松饼 是半夜一点 我们平常去的那家关门了 所以我们去了另一家 那里只有一对夫妻在那里 平常可容150人 The waitress who served us was in her late sixties or early seventies. This was around 1979, when Off The Wall came out. Michael was the no. 1 artist in the world. She didn’t recognize him at all. 服务生大概有六七十岁了 这是大概1979年 当时Off the Wall刚发行 麦可可是世界最有 名的艺人 但她却不认得他 We got to the table and she come over and asked us what we wanted to order. I put on a Saudi accent and went “Yamaka fallesh.” 我们坐好 她过来问我们说我们要点甚麽 我用苏丹的口音说 Yamaka fallesh Michael started laughing. The waitress slapped him across the face with the back of her hand. She said, “This is not funny. Your friend is from a foreign country and you have respect for people from foreign countries.” 麦可就开始笑了 那个服务生用她的手背赏了他一巴掌 她说 这一点都不好玩 你朋友是 从外国来的 你要尊重从外国来的人 (MJ被赏巴掌XDXD) Michael got nervous. He wasn’t used to being treated like that in public. He slid further inside the booth so he couldn’t get slapped again. 麦可紧张了起来 他不习惯在公众场合被这样对待 他滑向座位更里面一点 以防再被赏巴掌 I asked, “What is pancake? Explain please.” 我问 甚麽是松饼 请解释 The waitress started miming a pressing motion. She said, “It’s like a cake that you press down.” 服务生开始用压的姿势的说 就像是你把他用力压的蛋糕 Michael started to laugh again and she started to put her hand up again, so he slid further away. 麦可又开始笑了 当她再次抬起她的手 麦可更往座位里面滑 She then said, “Ok, I’m going to take you back to the kitchen.” She and the cook showed us how to make pancakes. I ordered some. 她又说 好我要带你去後面厨房 然後她展示怎麽做松饼 我点了一些 When the pancakes came to our table, I took the syrup bottle and emptied the whole bottle all over the pancakes. She immediately slapped me across the face. It hurt. 当松饼来时 我把整罐枫糖都倒上我的松饼 她马上赏我一巴掌 好痛 “Not funny,” she said. Michael was laughing again. 她说 不好玩 麦可再旁边又笑了 She brought me a new batch and I ate them. When we left, Michael left her a $200 tip. 她给了我新的一盘 我吃完了 当我们走时 麦可留了200块的小费 We were in the car park, heading back to Michael’s Rolls Royce, when the waitress came running after us. 我们走到停车场往麦可的劳斯莱斯前进 但服务生追了出来 “I’m not taking this. You boys are probably working your way through college and you need the money,” she said, not even noticing the car he was driving. 她说 我不会收的 你们才刚要工作准备上大学 你们需要这笔钱 她甚至没注意到麦可 开的是甚麽车 Michael insisted but she said, “No, I’m not taking it.” We couldn’t believe it. 麦可坚持要付给她 但她说 不 我不会收的 我们不敢相信她居然不收 -- In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. In a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe. ~~~~By Michael Jackson --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 173.59.231.40 噗哈哈 对吼 昨天我脑袋不知在想啥XD 感谢指正 不过老婆婆应该是一视同仁 David Gest是白人呀 也照被打不误 XDDD ※ 编辑: ChesterB 来自: 173.59.231.40 (09/02 06:18)