My heart broke for him because once he felt the need to run — I felt like he ran. I was worried about him financially, I was worried about the kids, I was worried about his health. I always worried about his health, because I thought he was just too skinny. He would make fun of me, especially when I was in college, because I gained weight in college — what freshman doesn't gain the freshman 15? — and I'd say, "I know you're going to think I'm fat, but ..." and it was a joke, but he also became very, very conscious of everything, and I used to say, "I think you've lost too much weight." So I started worrying about his health from the thin standpoint. 我的心因为他曾经觉得需要逃离一切而破碎了 我可以感觉他逃跑了 我担心他的经济状况 我担心他的孩子 我担心他的健康 因为他真的太瘦了 他以前总会笑我 特别是我在大学时 因为我当时变胖了 大一生总会变胖 我常会开玩笑说 你一定会觉得我变胖了 但他总是很快察觉所有事情 而我以前常会跟他说 你变太瘦了 我总是为了他这麽瘦而担心他的健康 I saw him less and less as our lives became different. At every major event in my life, he reached out to me, whether if it was when my dad died, when I had my first daughter, and had severe post-partum, we'd speak, and then it got more and more difficult to reach him, and some of the people in his life that I could call to get him, they were fired or they left or they went away, and in the last few years, it was harder to get the right number to get through to him. 在我们的生活越来越不同之後 我越来越少见到他 但我人生重大时刻 他总会打给我 像是我爸爸死了 我有了第一个女儿 而且有严重的产後忧郁症 我们总是会聊聊 但是後来越来越难连络他 而之前我认识他身边的人我能打电话找他的 他们不是被解雇了 就是离开了 或是在最後几年走了 而越来越难拿到正确的电话号码找他 I like to think that I was a good friend to him. That's the way it always was, and our friendship never altered, it just stayed the course. No matter what was happening, the one thing that whenever we got on the phone with each other, he would just giggle or laugh and say, "Oh, Brooke," and I was consistent, and I think that was important for both of us. I wanted him to know my kids, but it became harder to take him out and bring him into ... it was just a trauma. I feel like he shouldn't have gone that way. I've always maintained what a pure soul he was. 我想认为我自己是他的好友 因为一直以来都是 我们的友情从未改变 不论发生什麽事 不论何时 只要我们在讲电话 他总会轻笑着说"Oh Brooke" 而我总也一样 我认为这对我们两个都很重要 我希望他认识我的孩子们 但是找他出来越来越难 这一切都是个悲剧 我总觉他不该变成这样的 但他一直有个纯洁的灵魂 --

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