L大附的第二个连结我一直打不开... 不过我在NBC网站上找到Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (SB) 书的部分内容： http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33004980/ns/today-today_books// [即使是书摘，也很长，请恕我无法全部翻译。] 分几个部分: Childhood, loneliness, cartoons and brothers SB写到：Michael觉得他人生最基本、最珍贵的部分（童年）被剥夺了。他之後的人 生一直试图重建。有些人说Michael是发展停滞的案例。SB不同意，他觉得MJ是选择不 要长大。 MJ提到青少年时期他很想休息，很想玩，可是要录音、有合约… “I am trapped and I have to do this for the rest of my life. I am under contract.” Thriller时期的MJ曾因渴望朋友，在街上找人说话， 问人家：“Will you be my friend?” 人家会吓到说：“Michael Jackson!” MJ则想：人们要跟我做朋友是因为我是MJ？还是因为我是我？ MJ说在他的内心有两个部分：一个是king of pop，超然的superstar，拥有一切而不需要 任何东西；另一个则是面具下的、羞怯的MJ，甚至连一个真正的朋友都没有。 所以MJ那时就决定孩子是他的答案。因为MJ就是在那个年龄受到打击。 “Oh my gosh. I did lose my childhood, because these are the only people I can identify with.” MJ解释这是为何他有很多人体模型。他需要陪伴却又羞於靠近真的人。但MJ不会跟假人说 话。I always thought, “Why do I have these?” They are like real babies, kids, and people, and it makes me feel like I am in a room with people. Michael’s fear of his father [注：这部分MJ描述小时候被父亲当成赚钱机器、殴打…不太想翻译，请自己看。] MJ：有人说受虐儿长大後会成为施暴者。这不正确。我就是完全相反的例子。我对我孩子 做过最不好的事就是让他们到墙角去罚站，而且也只站一下下而已。 MJ：我到现在还会怕我父亲。以前有几次，我父亲走进房间，我会在他面前昏倒或呕吐， 因为以前那种可怕的感觉又涌上心头。但他现在很不一样了。时间和年岁改变了他。他当 了祖父，他也想做个好父亲。我一时有点不能接受他的改变。我希望他能早一点体认到这 些。 The pain of performing, the pressure of staying on top MJ：我热爱艺术。我母亲很了解我这一点。我喜欢画画和雕塑之类的东西。我在艺术和英 语这两门课都拿A。我在学校上课时间不多，但在英语和说故事方面，我的老师总是拿我 作其他同学的模范。老师让我站到台前念我写的故事，获得很多掌声。得到掌声的原因不 是因为我是MJ，而是他们真的很喜欢我的故事。我也很喜欢画画。I love Michelangelo. I love Charlie Chaplin with all my heart. I love Walt Disney. These are the people I am nuts over. These are my people. I love the great ones. 问到压力？ MJ：（表演）和媒体的压力，他们是拿着刀子在等的。 SB：等你失败？ MJ：当然。他们想要把我撕碎，又总要我超越颠峰。我已经奉献出我所有了。 [後面贴上原文，太多了…] SB: But it wears you out? MJ: Yeah. Because when you are the top-selling artist of all time, the records that are broken, they wait ... you are the target. SB: What gives you rest, what gives you strength? Is it Prince and Paris? MJ: Prince and Paris and children all over the world. Not just Prince and Paris — all children. SB: Do you feel that if the next album is not amazing that you are not going to be special? MJ: It would be a terrible blow to me [if I did not perform as well as I wish] because I put real pressure on myself and I demand the best out of myself. I really do. The best of the form or the medium that I work in, and I put a lot of pressure on myself. So to have that happen, if that was to happen, it would be psychologically destroying for me. SB: But do you feel that people would still love you if you were not as successful? Would you still feel loved? A child has to feel loved even if he or she doesn’t do well at school. MJ: Yes, I would, because of the past work. But I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. I try not to look at the past. SB: Do you think that because of some of the things that you described to me, a very difficult childhood — without the birthdays, without the Christmases — that is why success in your career has become so important? MJ: Probably. I think so. SB: Do you think you punish yourself a bit too much, that’s why there is so much pain? You punish yourself immensely if things aren’t perfect? MJ: I really do. I know that’s true. I’d rather be the one responsible for it because I have the final say and the final cut on everything. In the past it has been very successful. Oh God, but if that [diminishment of success] was to happen, I don’t know what I would do. SB: But don’t you see, Michael, that’s what you have to get over. MJ: I know, but I can’t get over it. It’s me. I’m not made that way. Excerpted from “The Michael Jackson Tapes: A Tragic Icon Reveals His Soul in Intimate Conversation” by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. Copyright (c) 2009, reprinted with permission from Vanguard Press. --

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