第18周的TOEFL写作班出了一个题目叫 If you could meet a famous entertainer or athlete, who would that be 当然看到这个题目我第一个就是想到方生啦!!哈哈哈 这还是第一次一边写作文一边偷笑(只差没流口水啦) 刚好今天老师把我的作文改好了，就放上来给大家看一下我如何的景仰方生 好像蛮多文法错误的，括号理的都是老师改的 Nowaday, most of the entertainer and athlete are not the good model toward the commons, they offend the social moral and take it for granted. However, there is still one enterainer that I really admire, he is an Asian icon named Khalil Fong. Fong is playing the music categorized as neo soul, and he was borned in Hawaii and prosper in Asia. The following three reasons show why I would like to meet him. In the first place, If I could meet him, I were asked(would ask) him how to maintain his passion toward his job. Being a musician, Fong always being serious about his work. He had released three albums, the latest one is always the greatest one. The term "one man army" could describes him. He writes the song and does the arrangement, so that he could assure the quality of each song and is able to make the album reach the unity of the concept he would like to convey. The second, Fong thinks himself as a public man, he always concerns about the social issue, especially global warming. There is a track called "warm" in his latest album talking about love and climate change. In his opinion, the environment is to mankind what love is to mankind, and he claims that we should treat our planet as to treat our lovers. Furthermore, although Fong is serious about his job, he attains the sense of humor that always makes everyone laugh. Being a big fan of his, I would like to meet him and he would probably make me laugh. To wrap up, In my opinion, everyone should find someone who is worthy to be admired. Just like Khalil Fong as to me, he has become my mentor , and I make effort to reach the peak he had already meeted(met). If some- day I really meeted(met)him, I would told(tell) him that he has enormously influenced me. 老师点评： You clearly grasp the concept of an academic writing. The examples given are strong enough to support your points. Good Job! Pay attention to minor grammar points. --

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