※ [本文转录自 joke 看板] 作者: haudai (你认识阿光 她很强喔) 看板: joke 标题: [老皮] A片的迷思 时间: Thu Jan 13 20:19:47 2005 WHAT PORNOS WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE A片会让你相信... ****************************************************************************** 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 女人都穿高跟鞋上床 2. Men are never impotent. 男人决不会性无能 3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. 吃屄超过十秒就很爽了 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 如果女人手淫时被陌生男人撞见，她不会尴尬地尖叫，反而会坚持与他性交。 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 男人喷精於女人脸上时，她们会露出满意的笑容。 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 女人喜欢和丑陋的中年男子打炮。 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 女人吹喇叭时会失控的呻吟 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 男人高潮时女人也一定如是 9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket. 替警察吹吹喇叭会使女人逃过超速罚单 10. All women are noisy fucks. 所有女人搞起来都很吵。 11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 70年代的人没有吉他独奏的背景音乐就不能打炮了 12. Those tits are real. 那些奶子都是真货 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. 有一种男人常做且很爽的性行为是用他半软硬的老二反覆地抽打女人的屁屁 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 男人射精时都会叫 " OH YEAH! " 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) 如果有二人，他们互相卯管(女孩也不会感到恶心) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 双重插入会让女人笑开颜 17. Asian men don't exist. 亚洲男人是不存在的 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 如果你遇到一个人和他的女朋友在树丛性交，你若把你的老二插在他女友嘴里， 他不会会把你揍个半死。 19. There's a plot. A片是有情节的 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. 从後方插入时，轻打女人的屁股真的能使她兴奋 21. Nurses suck patients cocks. 护士都会吸病人的老二 22. Men always pull out. 射精时男人都会拔出来 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. 你马子抓到她挚友在帮你吹喇叭时，她只会一时稍稍不快，然後马上加入战局 24. Women never have headaches‥ or periods. 女人都不会头痛...或是有月经 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. 当女人在吸男人的老二时，不断提醒她"吸它"是很重要的 26. Assholes are clean. 屁眼儿是乾净的 27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. 射精於女人的屁股上对有关各方面都是满意的结果 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find acock there. 女人总是对打开男人裤子时找得到一条老二有愉悦的惊喜 29. Men don't have to beg. 男人总不需要恳求 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. 站着被吹喇叭时，男人总是一只手用力的放在跪姿女人脑後，而另一只手则骄傲的 置於他的臀部。 ****************************************************************************** -- 曾经有一个天大的就可摆在面前，但我没有珍惜， 到回娘家以後才後悔莫及，尘世间最痛苦的事莫过於此。 ● 皓 by beemay //■ --

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