Ghost Shit The kind where you feel the shit come out but there is no shit in the toilet. 魅屎 就是你感觉已大出来,但在马桶里找不到屎的那种 Clean Shit The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. 乾净屎 就是你把它大出来,看见它在马桶里,但却在卫生纸上找不到痕迹的那种 Wet Shit The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it feels unwiped so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin your pants with a stain. 濡湿屎 就是你擦屁股50次後仍旧感觉没擦过一样, 因此你得在你的屁股和内裤之间垫上一些卫生纸免得裤子被玷污的那种 Second Wave It happens when you're done shitting and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize you have to shit some more. 第二波 通常发生在大完後,把裤子拉上时,你发现还得再多大一些的那一种 Pop A Vein In Your Forehead Shit The kind where you strain so much you practically have a stroke. 额头青筋暴胀型 你得挤到几乎胀破血管脑中风的那一种 Richard Simmons Shit You shit so much you lose 30 pounds. 你瞧-这嘛多型 就是数量多到大完後体重减轻三十磅的那种 Lincoln Log Shit The kind that is so huge you're afraid to flush without breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush. 林肯轿车型 就是如此巨大,你担心若不先用马桶刷把它弄碎可能会冲不掉的那种 Gassy Shit It's noisy and everyone within earshot is giggling. 气泡屎 很吵,听到的人都忍不住偷笑的那种 Corn Shit Self explanatory. 玉米粒屎 自我阐明了 Gee！ I Wish I Could Shit Shit The kind where you want to shit, but all you can do is sit on thetoilet, cramp and fart a few times. 老天!真希望我可以大, 大, 一直大......屎 就是你很想大出来,但所有你能做的只有坐在马桶上抽几回筋,放几个屁的那种 Spinal Tap Shit That's when it hurts so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways. (哈哈!不会翻 姑且叫做)骨刺屎 就是大出来时痛得让你发誓它是横着出来的那种 Wet Cheek Shit Also known as the Power Dump! The kind that comes out of your butt so fast your cheeks get splashed with water. 溅臀屎 也称做强力轰炸,就是飞快地从屁股脱出後会溅起大量的水花在臀部上的那种 Liquid Shit the kind where yellowish brown liquid shoots out and splatters all over the toilet bowl. 液态屎 黄棕色液体射出後洒满整个马桶的那种 Mexican Food Shit It smells so bad the room must be condemned. It's class of it's own. 墨西哥料理屎 它的味道如此难闻以致於房子得拆掉重建,它自成一格 Upper Class Shit The kind that thinks their shit doesn't smell. 上等屎 那种自认为闻起来没味道的 Fisherman's Bobber Shit The kind where you are in a public restroom, there are two people waiting on your stall, you shit and flush two times, but several golf ball size pieces are still floating at the water line. 浮筒屎(大家看过鱼竿上的小浮标吧) 就是当你在公共厕所,外面已经等了两个人,可是你已冲水两次, 却还是有几粒高尔夫球大小的浮在水面上的那种 Ambush Shit the kind of shit that never happens at home, but usually at a party or while playing golf. It is the result of trying to fart just a little, but you end up with trouser chili and you walk bow-legged for the rest of the day. 偷袭屎 就是从不发生在家里,却通常发生在派对中或打高尔夫的时候,原本只是想放个小屁 , 但 却演 变成裤底的"辣酱",之後你接下来的时间都得脚开开? 用O型腿走路的那种 Drunken Shit The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet. 醉屎 就是一整夜喝酒後在隔天早上大出的那种,它最大的特徵是在马桶底部留下打滑的痕 迹 Champagne Shit You're so constipated that by the time the cork blows, a bubbly liquid streams from your ass. 香槟屎 就是当那块使你便秘已久的"软木塞" "波"的一声离开後 会有泡泡状的液柱流出屁眼 的 Kling-On Shit The kind of shit where, when you go to wipe it, it's there waiting on the edge. 就是当你要去擦它,它还粘在刚门上面的那种 Blow Out Shit The shit that's proceeded by a fart so vicious, you have to check the bowl afterwards to make sure there are no cracks. 爆出屎 就是在一个震撼性的屁响後,你得检查马桶是否有裂掉的那种 Exorcist Shit The kind where yellowish-brownish liquid shoots out of your ass and burns our ass while it splatters all over the toilet.(See Liquid Shit) 驱魔者屎 黄棕色的液体从你的屁眼射出後洒得到处都是,屁眼有灼烧感 (参考液态屎) Peek-A-Boo Shit It comes halfway out, then it goes back in, comes back out, goes back in, etc. 躲猫猫屎 大到一半它缩回去,然後再伸出来,又缩回去...一直下去 Pregnancy Shit The kind where you're really backed up and it makes you grunt and wheeze for a long while until it finally splits your crack in a child bearing fashion. (See Pop a Vein Shit, Spinal Tap Shit) 怀孕屎 就是你已靠着背,呻吟,喘息了好一阵,最後终於从臀缝中诞生的那种 Rabbit Shit It comes in cute, round portions, but there loads of it about.Actually, you're never really finished, but stop at some point from boredom. 小白兔屎 圆圆蛮可爱的,但数量惊人喔! 事实上你都会在中途停下来不大了因为它多得令人感到厌烦 希望大家看到这篇文章时都已经吃饱了........ 如果吐出来.....本人一概不负责任喔....... 你(你)有过几种经验呢? -- _/ _/_/_/ _/_/ _/ _/_/ _/ _/ _/_/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/ _/ _/_/ _/ _/_/_/ _/_/ --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.csie.ntu.edu.tw) ◆ From: 140.112.221.230 ※ 编辑: boge 来自: 140.112.221.230 (04/19 15:47)