戴尔美语练功坊 中级英检作文赏析 (11/30) 中级英检作文赏析 撰写记叙文最困难处在於情节安排, 不论写任何经历, 开心的, 害怕的, 悲惨的, 难忘的, 若没有吸引人的情节, 整篇文章就像流水帐, 即使拼字 文法无误, 分数也只能差强人意. 撰写记叙文有几项原则, 第一, 撰写前先拟出情节大纲. 内容或许未必属实, 但过程的堆叠必须精彩, 引人入胜, 并且一定要有故事的高潮, 否则会令人 "看不出重点." 第二, 只写剧情精彩处. 一篇文章约十三,四个句子, 若非重要讯息, 可直接省略. 若写一天的经历, 二十四小时不可能用十几个 句子交待完, 更遑论描写求学过程之类的大范围文章, 所以只写与主题极为 相关的过程, 有舍才有得. 第三, 避免句式重复. 因为是绕着主角来写一段 时间内发生的事, 很容易变成全篇同主词, 句式相同, 若要避免重复的句式, 可多利用分词构句, 让文章读起来句型丰富, 节奏流畅. 第四, 描写事情的 过程, 不要只限於视觉感观的描述, 例如声音, 味道, 触觉, 都可以细细描写, 给的细节讯息越完整, 读者越能身历其境. 第五, 修辞技巧是高分关键. 修辞可由多方切入, 词类可尽量丰富, 除了形容词与副词外, 介系词片语的 使用若能纯熟, 常常让文章看起来更高竿. 以下引用台南校陈同学的文章演绎记叙文的写法 提示: 请写一篇日记描述不愉快的一天,文中要提到原因,过程,以及事後的感想. Waking up in the sound of the raindrops beating against the windowpanes, I knew it would be a hard day for me. I turned over and got out of my bed, hoping everything that I feared of was not going to happen. [首段原有四个句子, 作者用了两次分词构句 waking up in the sound… 以及 hoping everything that…, 让四个句子, 变成精简的两句. 另外, 第一句中还有分词的使用, raindrops beating against the windowpanes, 不但在句型上有後位修饰, 在听觉感受上, 也让读者仿佛亲临当时的情境.] Fifteen minutes later, I stood under the eaves of my house, watching the rain pouring down(後句为分词构句). I stepped forward into the rain and headed for the school. On my way to school, my umbrella didn't work at all, so that the rain kept attacking me from all directions (此句为因果句, 当中雨滴从四面八方攻击是十分生动地描写). With the gale wind blowing, this rain was a destructive storm for me(用介系词 片语写风势, 为困难的处境再添一笔). Eventually, I got to my classroom with my clothes and schoolbag soaked, especially my wet shoes and socks that I hated the most, and then I found myself ten minutes late. What was worse, I opened my schoolbag, and then a puddle of water came into sight. (此处有情节的堆叠, 先是衣服书包全湿, 再由鞋袜浸水 加深厌烦的程度, 再以书包内的积水堆叠至高潮)Water in my bag? I was freaked out. I thought I protected my schoolbag well, but somehow the water drops could still sneak into it. I felt like crying and screaming, but I restrained my urges.(此处有精彩的心情描述, 有动词freaked out, felt like crying and screaming 以及名词的urges). I pulled out everything in my bag as fast as I could. They were dripping water and my heart was broken. The victims included my books, pencil case, breakfast, diary and homework. Basically, everything in my bag was damaged(此处充满节奏感, victims一字更把书本等物品拟人化, 让文章更生动). Today, I endured my feet soaked in wet shoes, an empty stomach, and an extremely low grade. I even dried those books one by one with a hair dryer. (简单的summary道尽一天的悲惨). No doubt, today was ruined. I promised I would put on a raincoat next time. I am not going to suffer this ever again.(最後用给自己的提醒与叮咛结束全文). 本篇文章是一篇非常成功的记叙文, 作者对动作, 物品, 事件, 心情的描写 都很生动, 虽然有238字, 却读起来一点都不冗长, 反而引起读者的兴趣, 令人想探究是否还有更惨的事情发生, 值得参考. --

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