撇开至尊对决以外，身为足球迷还是有其他可以看的啦XD http://bit.ly/1krohw9 Mirror 每日镜报恶搞了大家在转会期间会作的事情， 想想是真的蛮写实的（？） 他把所有的转会谣言发展过程分成了二十个步骤（靠） 并且举了个绝对不会发生的例子lol 1. A rumour pops up on the Twitter account of a football website you've never heard of, claiming inside knowledge of a huge potential transfer affecting your team. 一个你从来没有看过的足球网站的官方推特， 突然（为了流量）出了一个超乎你想像的乳摸 举例： Barcelona's Lionel Messi could be moving to Morecambe for around ￡300M, our sources say *Morecambe 是一个英乙球会，位於兰开夏沿海 > ---- < 2. It gathers momentum at a ridiculous pace, with more and more 『details' being added to the story by more and more 『 reliable' sources. 网路上关於这个乳摸的谣言呈现指数型成长， 越来越多的「细节稍後奉上」跟「可靠消息表示」 etc. OMG - a mate of mine who knos a mate of Messi's cousin says he's really unhappy in Spain because Neymar keeps bullying him #MorecambeFC or Messi's lins burn for Lancashire and he's apparently desperate to try our famous shrimp * MFC的队徽是一只虾 > ---- < 3. Going against all logic and everything you've ever known, you find yourself latching on to a shred of belief that there might be some truth in this somewhere – because how great would it be, right? 你的感性开始战胜你的理性，而且你会开始幻想要是成了会怎样 > ---- < 4. The rumour finds its way into a foreign newspaper, and things start to get serious. 消息开始在非英语报纸发酵，而且看起来像是真的（？） > ---- < 5. Then they turn up in a British paper. 然後英媒开始语无伦次LOL > ---- < 6. By this point, everybody is already starting to lose their minds. 所有的球迷不分阵营都开始疯狂了（？） > ---- < 7. Fans work the player into your team's formation for next season. 球迷已经迫不期待开始帮球队排新的阵型，即便八字还没一撇。 http://i.imgur.com/5Joye7K.jpg 这张图必点XDDDD > ---- < 8. Someone makes up some fake quotes, which duly do the rounds. 很多人开始帮球员的照片上加上他们假造的惊点语录 http://i.imgur.com/agRjyBB.jpg <- like this "Barcelona is a bit rubbish to be honest. I want a new challenge and I've always dreamed of joining a League 2 club and working in my way up, just like my hero, Rickie Lambert." <- XDDDDDDDDDDDDD > ---- < 9. Your manager denies any contact with the player or the club, which dulls the enthusiasm for about five minutes. 你家的总A出面否认，通常这时候可以让你过热的大脑冷却五分钟。 > ---- < 10. Because then, the player himself tweets something which is taken wildly out of context. 但是又开始有人拿当事主角的推特出来各种发散超译（？） Lionel Messi: Training is OK today. 然後热情粉丝： MESSI SAID TRAINING WAS ONLY OK!!! He definitely hates it in Spain - he's coming to Morecambe! > ---- < 11. Rumours start circling about the player's current club looking at replacements. 乳摸网站开始造谣他的母队正在找backup like this: Barcelona are lining up West Ham's Carlton Cole as a replacement for Morecambe bound Lionel Messi > ---- < 12. The player is spotted in England! It must be for a move! Everyone goes crazy. 球员刚好在希斯罗机场还是英格兰的哪儿被拍到！！！ 大家都疯了！！！！！ > ---- < 13. Before it turns out he's actually just there on holiday. 然後....大家发现他只是来渡假，先凉了一半 > ---- < 14. However, he misses a pre-season friendly, citing a dodgy illness, and the frenzy is greater than ever. 但是主角本人可能各种因素错过了热身赛，官方表示这只是避免受伤， 重点是已经没有人信了XDDDD （进入相信我之术 or 不管你信不信我就是信了 mode） > ---- < 15. The player is left out of his club's promo shoot for next season's kit – which can only mean one thing, right? 然後刚好他又不在新球衣的沙龙照上，想当然尔.... φ(._. )>φ(._. )> > ---- < 16. Maybe this is actually going to happen?! 你忍不住会问自己：这是真的吗？是真的吗？真的吗？ > ---- < 17. It's deadline day! You call in sick from work, set up every screen you have for different TV streams and live updates and settle in for a day on the couch in your underwear. 关窗日终於到了！ 你已经跟老板（或者老师）请了根本没有人信的病假， 然後把所有你身边有着银幕的东西都打开，锁定不同的频道， 以便迎接刘美汐老板来英乙当救世主的关键时刻（喂 > ---- < 18. Screaming young fans gather outside your stadium and stay there all day, even though it's hailing in August and the Sky Sports News presenter lost the will to live by about 11am. 俱乐部外面开始会聚集大量好事乡民，并且硬要挤在记者旁边挡镜头。 事实上天空体育倒楣的记者早就不想干，关窗十二个小时之前就想收工了。 （我记得上个夏窗挤在记者後面的鸟迷太吵结果记者发火XDDDD） > ---- < 19. It reaches midnight. Your eyes are red and painful, you have carpal tunnel syndrome in your scrolling finger and you realise all you've spent all day eating nothing but crisps. 直到关窗的那一刻，你的眼睛红了，你切换频道或按键盘的手指都拉伤了， 腕隧道症候群搞不好都发作了，然後你发现你整天只吃了家里库存的垃圾食物。 > ---- < 20. You wake up the next morning and remember that you love your club no matter who plays for them, and hey, he probably wouldn't have suited your playing style anyway. 隔天一早起来你发现你依然只是一个英乙球队的小球迷， 然後无论球队的球员名单上有谁你一样会不离不弃， 可能还会安慰自己：哼，反正来得就算是比利搞不好都不一定能适应体系咧lol -- 好文，但是镜报这样报很自婊....XD --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc), 来自: 111.241.116.114 ※ 文章网址: http://webptt.com/cn.aspx?n=bbs/FAPL/M.1407522043.A.7E5.html ※ 编辑: willyt (111.241.116.114), 08/09/2014 02:24:23