※ 引述《firstknt (I aim to misbehave)》之铭言： : ※ 引述《payin712 (Truth makes you free)》之铭言： : : My high school teacher taught me there are four categories of acts : : between a performer and a recipient--cooperative, selfish, spiteful : : and altruistic ones. : : From my viewpoint, I'd prefer cooperative acts which can benefit both : : the performer and the recipient. Unfortunately, as my eldest sister falls in : : love, she used to go for the last way, altruism, which could satisfy her bf, : : who is gonna be her husband in couple of months, but that is costing herself. : : Futhermore, the worse problem is that her bf, named J in the follows, get : : used to this way [my sister's altruistic behavior to him] and never thinks : : the situation will ask for their living trouble in the future. : : I hadn't noticed this until something happened two weeks ago... : : As you know, it's not a cinch to deal with marriage, especially arranging : : the wedding party. Recently, my sister is busy in modeling her engagement : : party and decorating their new house. : : I found my ability is not enough to help her all but have been still trying : : my best. One day, she was crying due to J's ignorance of her feeling. : : Let me take two examples here. For one thing, he asked my sister to choose : : a small ring with limited budget ($300) directly. : : Moreover, once when my sister was late to pick him up in his home to eat out, : : J was very angry. Even though my sister had apologized for her : : lateness, J not only kept wrathful (actually, hundreds of things can make him : : angry. He is irritable!!!) but also said nothing in the car. It was extremely : : embarrassed! : : In my case, if possible, I would suggest J in two methods. On the one hand, : : he could express how angry and why he was so angry. Then, he could choose not : : to forget this for a while but not made the atmostphere down and down. : : On the other hand, he could choose to forget her with clear explanation : : and accepted her sorry instead of keeping silent. : : It's a great treat to make others happy esp. boy/girl friend. : : If each of couples can't communicate with each other, they may just negatively : : avoid making the other one angry but not positively try one's best to make : : him/her happy. Clearly, these two kinds of love relationship may result in : : huge different love. : : Can I share my feeling with my future brother-in-law? : : Can I tell him directly that how nervous I am to see my sister get married : : with him? : : Can I point out the mistakes he used to make for correction since he thinks : : he is right all the time? : : When my sister told me that she has no idea what to do with this kind of : : routine, : : I found I am so incompetent that I have no clue to save her out of the : : innocence! : : I'm worried. I"m misgiving. I'm fear! : : She can be in a bliss but she threw herself into danger. : : She can be happy and fair-haired but she chose to gamble her life. : : What would you do if you were me or my sister? : : Thanks for reading this message anyway^^ : long read, some sentences/paragraphs weren't easy to understand, : but I get the general idea... : one suggestion is that you can post this, in Chinese, at the marriage board... : perhaps they can offer you more insight Ok, I dont really agree with the guy above me. I think that as a lovely brother, you should talk to the guy but with different point of view. You have to let him understand that your sister love her deeply and his ignorance will cause this marriage nothing but hell. And also let him understand that you are willing to do anything for your sister's happiness... even suggest to call off the wedding. He should understand that marriage are for BOTH male and females are in love and form a amazing social circle, however, also comes with a lot of responsibilities. When one side is all giving and another side is doing nothing, then this marriage will end faster than Anna Nicole Smith's wedding (RIP to her) I will suggest that you do talk to your parents about it and tell them what you think. They might ask you to keep your mouth shut or do it opposite way. Hopefully opposide way though... therefore your family can even talk to your future brother in law and make sure that he is serious enough on doing it. At last, hope your sister can find the ture happiness, with or without wedding. Sorry that delete some of pervious post since the text are too long --

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