We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; >>>> but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. >>>> One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of >>>> moose >>>> should never be meese. >>>> You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of >>>> house >>> is houses, not hice. >>>> If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural >>>> of pan >>>> be called pen? >>>> If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, >>>> would a >>>> pair be called beet? >>>> If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the >>>> plural of >>>> booth be called beeth? >>>> Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the >>>> plural would >>>> never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. >>>> We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say >>>> mother, we >>>> never say methren. >>>> Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him, but imagine the >>>> feminine >>>> as being she, shis, and shim. >> >>>> Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English: >>>> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. >>>> 2) The farm was used to produce produce. >>>> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. >>>> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. >>>> 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. >>>> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. >>>> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time >>>> to present the present. >>>> 8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum. >>>> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. >>>> 10) I did not object to the object. >>>> 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. >>>> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. >>>> 13) They were too close to the door to close it. >>>> 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. >>>> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. >>>> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. >>>> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. >>>> 18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number. >>>> 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. >>>> 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. >>>> 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? >>>> 22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt. >>>> >>>> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor >>>> pine in >>>> pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. >>>> >>>> We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we >>>> find that >>>> quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea >>>> pig is >>>> neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. >>>> >>>> And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers >>>> don't >>>> groce, and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can >>>> make >>>> amends, but cannot make one amend? >>>> >>>> If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one of >>>> them, >>>> what do you call it -- one odd and one end? If teachers taught, why >>>> didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what >>>> does a humanitarian eat? >>>> >>>> Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should >>>> be >>>> committed to an asylum for the verbally insane! In what other >>>> language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by >>>> truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that >>>> smell? How can a slim chance >>> and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are >>> opposites? >>>> >>>> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your >> house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by >> filling it out, >>>> and in which an alarm goes off by going on. If Dad is Pop, how's >>>> come Mom >>>> isn't Mop? If Father is Dad, why isn't Mother Mad? Then maybe she >>>> could be? >>>> AUTHOR UNKNOWN -- or is it KNOT KNOWN? >> --

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