※ 引述《veryawesome (12指肠)》之铭言： : A Precious Picture : Eighteen years ago, I was borned in a hosptal. ^1 1) the past tense, and the past perfect tense of born is born not borned. : My mom told me that I was always sleeping when ^1 : she was holding me and I just looked like a doll. ^2 1) simple past tense is preferred here. "... I always slept when she was holding me ..." 2) "... I looked just like a doll." : So she took many pictures of me. : One of them is her holding me. ^1 1) "... of the pictures showed my mother holding me" or "... pictures of her holding me." : Of course, it was taken by my dad, and my brother ^1 : was standing behind the bed in the hospital. 1) Unnecessary "Of course" Consider "It was taken by my dad with my brother standing behind the bed in the hospital." : In the picture, my mom stared at me because ^1 : I was sleeping again and she felt I was cute. ^2 1) consider other words... 2) thought, not felt : My brother was looking at something which look like he didn't ^1 : know my dad was taking a picture. 1) My brother looked puzzled. It seems he had no idea that my dada was taking a picture... : I love this picture so much, so it is always ^1 : put on my desk since I found it. 1) I love this picture so much so that it has always been on my desk since I found it. : It let me feel moving because a new life came : to my family and brought happy to them. : Important of all, the baby was me. 1) "It moves me because a new life came by my family and this new life brought happiness to all my family members." 2) If you wanted to say "Most important of all..." it is fine but it sounds self-centered.... --

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