※ 引述《nikomedes228 (把自己丢出自己)》之铭言： : 　　开场。她步上舞台，坐上高脚椅，看起来没有笑容有点累。觉得自己似乎在消 : 费她一样，一股厌恶感催着我离开位置。可能是我想太多我也不知道，可能是太多 : 投射太多想像让我没有办法简单地自然地好好看一场她的演出，听她唱歌。但是那 : 种感觉很真实，如同三个月前投稿文学奖时的迟疑。为什麽我就没有那股决心与勇 : 气，像Emily Dickinson一样安静地写诗几乎不发表呢？明知道得奖除了拿奖金来 : 填饱肚子之外其实没有什麽意义，但自己还是很犯贱地去投稿。需要钱、需要某程 : 度的肯定之外，其实还是想被看见吧。纵使知道自己可能不够好，但还是希望自己 : 的作品在某个韵脚能够使人心中发出些微光，给予读者力量，也反馈回来给自己力 : 量。在台下我一边脑袋想着这些，一边自以为地揣测台上的她的无奈、对於这场合 : 又怎麽看待，对於表演这回事又是怎麽想。 自己三八回自己 那时候我想到的是Cat Power的歌I don't blame you (我一直猜测是写给Kurt Cobain，不知道是不是如此) 以下附上歌词 Last time I saw you, you were on stage Your hair was wild, your eyes were red And you were in a rage You were swinging your guitar around. Cause they wanted to hear that sound But you didn’t want to play. And I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you. Been around the world, in many situations Been inside many heads in different positions But you never wanted them that way. What a cruel price you thought that you had to pay. And that for all that shit on stage. But it never made sense to them anyway, Could you imagine if when they turned their backs They were only scratching their heads. Cause you simply deserve the best. And I don’t blame you They said you were the best, But then they were only kids Then you would recall the deadly houses you grew up in Just because they knew your name, Doesn’t mean they know from where you came What a sad trick you thought that you had to play. But I don’t blame you They never owned it And you never owed it to them anyway. I don’t blame you. --

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